A child who is not from kindergarten

A distinct problem arises for a lot of parents whose child skips kindergarten. There are several reasons why this might happen, ranging from logistical problems to personal preferences. Although kindergarten is a typical experience, early childhood development can happen in other ways as well.

When a child misses out on this early education stage, parents frequently consider how to best assist their child’s development and socialization. Finding substitutes for the kindergarten’s regimented environment is essential to promoting learning and socialization.

In this post, we’ll look at useful tactics and tools that parents can use to give their kids worthwhile experiences and lifelong learning opportunities outside of the conventional kindergarten environment. We’ll go over how to give your child a great start in their early years, from imaginative learning exercises to socialization opportunities.

Kids who miss out on kindergarten’s social and academic experiences frequently confront special difficulties, ranging from gaps in their early development to trouble adjusting to formal schooling. By being aware of these effects, educators and parents can better support their children to close any gaps and facilitate their transition to later educational environments.

Is it possible to turn a “non-kindergarten” child into a “kindergarten” one?

At 2.4, we started kindergarten. I saw that he needed to start a new chapter in his life and that going to work was necessary. Although it was good—my son is a mother after all—I got the impression that he was uncomfortable and bored with me. I could tell that he was prepared to enter society by the way he played with other kids so joyfully.

Thus, the decision was made to enroll him in kindergarten come September. Though new groups don’t start until September and are currently recruiting, which is why it’s autumn, I would prefer to start in the summer when there are fewer infections.

The actual adaptation was rather quick, despite not being completely seamless. He cried for two to three days at first, but then he started to become easily distracted by kids and toys. After that, friends showed up, and he started eating everything and sleeping soundly during the day.

The trouble was that he fell ill immediately. Then, in September, there were isolated fever episodes. Antibiotics, hospitals, and other things… He was very sick, even though we do not support drastic measures of care. This happened in the months of September and January.

During this monstrously difficult period for us with the baby. I visited many pediatricians, talked with an immunologist, "raised" my doctor friends. It was important for me that this nightmare ended, and my son became healthy again and remained healthy. Doctors basically shrugged their shoulders, saying that it happens to everyone. They explained why this could happen, but to the question "what to do?» they still didn’t really answer. They advised to wait until he grows up, and recommended medications that should be fed "just in case". That was the first time I heard about "non-kindergarten children" – I mean those who they themselves, for psychological reasons, start the process of illness. But I didn"t want to believe that it had anything to do with us. After all, he no longer cried when he went to kindergarten, he has friends there, he enjoys playing in the kindergarten, learning new things. Why would he be "non-kindergarten"?

We were told to stay at home for a month and a half after recovering when we were released in January. We took a seat. Thus, we missed 2.5 months of kindergarten. He didn’t sneeze once during this time. Everybody took a nap. The son was thin; it was not even rounded.

This time, after a little rest, I already gently guided him to the garden. specifically postponed until April, clarified if there were any quarantines, and confirmed that everyone was well. Now let’s move on. After a protracted absence, he rejoined the group right away; we were almost gone for a week. But once more on Friday.

After this specific case, my loved ones began to think that my son could start the disease himself, though I still thought about it often. He rested, his immunity was strong, and there were no sick kids in the group, so we were able to heal him. He didn’t sweat, he didn’t get wet, and no one caught them or frozen them specifically.

How to persuade a child who does not want to go to kindergarten

I initially tried to figure out why my son didn’t like it. It’s possible that he dislikes getting up early in the morning, but who loves? Maybe he doesn’t want to hurry and get dressed right away. He enjoys waking up by himself, lying down, and playing quietly while we wake up and aren’t in a rush to eat. However, everything is reversed here.

Then I talked to a psychologist at the kindergarten. Indeed, children themselves are capable of “fueling up” illnesses. I remember how I did the same, not wanting to go to school. We analyzed the situation from both a medical and a psychological perspective. My eyes were literally opened to many things: my child does not need kindergarten, he is fine at home. After all, he is allowed to do whatever he wants there, he does not answer for anything, and in kindergarten there is a regime. Obviously, discipline had to be introduced at home, certain rules had to be followed – at least teach him to put away his toys.

There was also the question of what to do next on the agenda. I was forced to look for guidance in specialized literature.

My child has been stating that he does not want to go to kindergarten in the morning since the evening. He yawns and falls asleep in the morning. I dress him and pull him down the street. The baby’s desire to go there in the morning is crucial for this reason. For the opposite process to occur: I want to attend kindergarten, and in order to do so, I must be well.

For this, you can use, for example, the following methods:

  • I asked my son to help us feel calm about him. I explained that we would be very pleased if he was healthy, if he was happy in kindergarten. This would make mom and dad very happy. These conversations helped us, but you can try other methods.
  • “Replacement”. Offer the child some small furry toy, saying that in mom’s absence it will be her substitute, so when the baby remembers mom and wants to be with her, he can take the toy out of his pocket and talk to it. Mom will definitely find out about this, but she will not necessarily return right away – she will return as soon as she can.
  • “Role in the family”. Before the child starts going to kindergarten regularly, tell him about what each family member will do during the day. Parents will go to work to earn money for the family, as well as to do some useful work. The latter is very important, because if a child is taught from childhood that work is only a way to earn money, then it is impossible to create a positive image of this kind of activity. According to this parameter, the child will differ from his parents for a long time, since he cannot earn money. Understanding that people go to work to do something useful is necessary for the child to form an adequate idea of ​​the role of the family in society, his role in the family and to understand the importance of attending kindergarten as his own contribution to the well-being of the family and society. Be sure to tell him that the child has an important task in kindergarten – to study and grow in order to become like his parents. Realizing the importance of its presence in the kindergarten for the family (it performs a certain mission there, and is not just left for storage, like some unnecessary thing) will also contribute to the emotional comfort of the child in it
  • "Attention and love". You need to think about your behavior after your child returns from kindergarten. It is worth allocating time so that one of the parents can spend time with the baby and show him how much his loved ones need him, how much they miss him.
  • "Adventure". Mom should play out a trip to the kindergarten as an adventure in advance or in the morning.

One mother told me that in order to get her child to kindergarten, she had to get up at half past six, leave the house at seven, and take the bus five stops. It’s highly likely that the baby did not want to wake up so early. Mom tried to think of some new, fictitious reason why he was waking up so early every morning. There were several different justifications. They walked to locations where buses sleep or the sun rises, enjoyed the peace of the early-morning city, and heard the birdcall of the morning.

  • In addition to talking, there are other ways to interest a child in morning walks. The woman we wrote about above allowed her toddler to run through puddles during the rain and even jump on them in rubber boots. Almost all children like this, and the anticipation of an upcoming walk helps them wake up faster.
  • Sometimes a mother tried to interest her child in some extremely important task. For example, you can take a candy to your teacher, or get to kindergarten faster than everyone else in order to have time to ride a car that all the children in the group love. Give your child a new toy, and say that it would be great if he showed it to the other children. You will see that your baby will eagerly run to kindergarten, because there he can brag to others about his mother"s gift.

I thought this story was great:

Evgenia"s son is now three and a half years old. One day came when no amount of persuasion or promises could make her son get out of bed and go outside with her. But mom found a way out of the situation. She told her son that an evil woman Yaga is in a hurry to get into his kindergarten to eat porridge of children. Such words had their own action, and the child hurried in pursuit to save children"s breakfast from Baba Yaga Yaga. By the way, in pursuit, he was going to fly right on a broomstick. Mom failed to convince him that buses were driving much faster, and had to give two old mops for the benefit of salvation of children"s breakfast. On these brooms, they “flew” to the very bus stop, and only there the woman managed to convince her son that they would not catch up with the villain on the brooms, and a large bus will help them in this. The kid believed her, and they safely continued their journey to the kindergarten.

The son liked the invented story, and, most importantly, he remembered her for a long time. While mom and boy were traveling to the kindergarten, they changed the role that Baba Yaga played in this story a little. Now she didn"t want to eat the children"s porridge, but on the contrary, to cook them something tasty. And she will cook them every morning while the boy will go to work in kindergarten. The boy liked this story, and he still told all his acquaintances for a long time about who exactly cooks porridge for them in the kindergarten. As it turned out, Baba Yaga had culinary abilities at a fairly high level.

Naturally, if the infant is healthy, all of these psychological strategies ought to be applied. If he is still unwell or has recently become ill, treatment and immunity-boosting measures are required.

Issue Description
Socialization Children who are not in kindergarten might miss out on early social interactions with peers.
Routine They may lack a structured daily routine that helps develop time management skills.
Learning Opportunities Missing out on educational activities and early learning experiences that are usually part of a kindergarten curriculum.
Parental Stress Parents might face increased stress as they need to find alternative ways to provide social and educational experiences.
Emotional Development Children might have fewer opportunities to learn to cope with separation and build resilience.
Physical Activity Less access to organized physical activities that are often part of a kindergarten program.

It’s crucial to realize that there are still ways to support a child’s early development even if they don’t attend kindergarten. A rich environment for growth and interaction can be created at home with a little bit of preparation, although social skills and learning opportunities are concerns shared by many parents.

Stimulating the environment is one of the most important things. Take your child on educational and creative pursuits, such as reading aloud, going on nature walks, or doing easy crafts. Engaging in these activities cultivates a love of learning in addition to improving cognitive abilities.

Another area to concentrate on is social interaction. Set up playdates or group activities with other kids to aid in your child’s socialization and teach them the importance of cooperation and sharing. Opportunities for group interactions and activities may be provided by nearby community centers or organizations.

Recall that each child is different and may follow a different developmental path. Whether or not your child attends a traditional kindergarten, you can still help them thrive by supporting their interests and fostering their curiosity. You can make sure that your child’s early years are full of growth and worthwhile experiences by taking the initiative and being involved.

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Anna Petrova

Child psychologist with 10 years of experience. I work with children and parents, helping to understand the intricacies of upbringing, psycho-emotional development and the formation of healthy relationships in the family. I strive to share useful tips so that every child feels happy and loved.

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