Renowned pediatrician and family advisor Dr. Komarovsky provides insightful advice on how to handle a child’s behavior, especially when it appears that they are disobeying their parents. His method is centered on identifying the underlying causes of disobedience and using workable solutions to address them. When their kids don’t follow the rules, parents frequently don’t know what to do. Dr. Komarovsky’s advice offers a clear way to encourage cooperation and respect.
Dr. Komarovsky stresses the value of clear expectations and constant communication in his advice. He contends that parents must establish an orderly setting with clear rules and just punishments. This method aids in both addressing current behavioral problems and laying a solid foundation for a child’s future growth.
Dr. Komarovsky also emphasizes the significance of setting an example of good behavior. He thinks that when kids observe their parents modeling the behavior they want them to have, they are more likely to comply with rules. Parents can effectively guide their children toward better behavior while upholding a loving and supportive relationship with them by modeling good behavior.
- Pedagogical problems through the eyes of a doctor
- Hysterics
- Physical punishment
- Video on the topic
- Dr. Komarovsky on what to do if a child does not obey parents
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Pedagogical problems through the eyes of a doctor
People consult Evgeny Komarovsky for more than just flat feet and runny noses. Parents frequently bring their kids to the pediatrician complaining that their little one has started to misbehave. This issue typically affects families with children who are four years old or older. According to Komarovsky, it is best to address concerns of obedience and upbringing when the child is 1.5–2 years old, or better yet, from birth. Otherwise, it is too late.
Two things cause a child to start acting against parental expectations: being told "no" too frequently or being given too much freedom from birth. Finding the "golden" balance between these extremes is what parents are supposed to do.
Giving a child the same rights as adults through democracy in the home raises a disobedient and irrational child who will make his own by going through tantrums and scandals if he is not allowed to do something.
Hysterics
A child will undoubtedly use the hysterics method to manipulate parents and grandparents frequently if they have tried it before and it worked (they were able to get what they wanted). Thus, Evgeny Komarovsky advises ignoring misbehaving children if they start having "concerts," hitting their heads on the floor and walls, and screaming until they go blue.
The baby simply lacks motivation for hysterics if there is no spectator in the form of parents. You should leave the room where the "drama" is taking place if he screams. If he hits, move to a softer pillow and get out of there. This stage is the hardest for parents.
Stock up on optimism, patience, and Valerian, says Komarovsky; if parents act consistently, everything will work out in the end.
Even if the child seems like he’s about to suffocate during a tantrum, you shouldn’t be concerned about this happening. When a child is crying, Komarovsky claims that they frequently release all of the air in their lungs, including the reserve air, which results in a prolonged period of time before they can breathe again. You only need to blow in the baby’s face if you are really worried; he will inhale on reflex.
Physical punishment
Dr. Komarovsky opposes physical punishment because he believes that a child who learns early on that the stronger person always wins will make use of this understanding throughout his life. Those who are accustomed to using force to resolve conflicts with others will not produce anything positive.
Parents should seek the advice of a psychologist or psychotherapist if they are unable to resolve issues with their child without resorting to physical discipline. And Komarovsky says this is both correct and reasonable.
Without a belt, there are plenty of alternatives for punishment: justifications for why a certain action cannot be taken, brief deprivation of certain benefits (candy, new toys, etc.). The most important thing is that the punishment is appropriate and timely. For example, if a child misbehaved in the morning and was denied his evening cartoons, he would likely forget why he was punished.
A baby can be disciplined fairly rationally by being put in a corner.
When a child is in conflict, he needs to be by himself, away from toys, cartoons, and other entertainment. According to Komarovsky, a baby should be placed in a corner for precisely the number of minutes that the child is old (3 years – 3 minutes, 5 years – 5 minutes).
Parents shouldn’t deprive their toddler of food, drink, or walks in the fresh air while he is being punished.
| Understand the Reason | Identify why the child is disobeying. It could be due to unmet needs, frustration, or testing boundaries. |
| Stay Calm | React calmly to disobedience. Avoid yelling or punishment, as it can escalate the situation. |
| Set Clear Rules | Ensure that rules and expectations are clear and consistent. Children need to understand what is expected of them. |
| Positive Reinforcement | Encourage good behavior with praise and rewards. This helps reinforce positive actions. |
| Model Behavior | Show the behavior you expect from your child. Children often imitate their parents’ actions. |
| Communicate | Discuss issues openly with your child. Understand their perspective and work together on solutions. |
Dr. Komarovsky stresses that when dealing with a disobedient child, communication and understanding are crucial. He advises parents to make an effort to comprehend the underlying causes of their child’s behavior rather than using punishment. By addressing the underlying causes of disobedience instead of just its symptoms, this method aids in treating it.
Komarovsky asserts that having clear expectations and consistently upholding them are essential components of effective parenting. When handling problems, parents should act in a calm, patient manner and set an example for their children to follow. Parents can assist their children in understanding and adhering to expected behaviors by establishing a structured environment with consistent rules.
In the end, Dr. Komarovsky supports a well-rounded strategy that incorporates firmness and empathy. The parent-child bond can be strengthened and a better understanding can be fostered by listening to the child and having an honest conversation. This approach not only fixes problems right away, but over time it fosters a dynamic that is more courteous and cooperative.
In this piece, we examine Dr. Komarovsky’s perspectives on dealing with circumstances in which a child defies parental direction. Dr. Komarovsky places a strong emphasis on the value of positive reinforcement, open communication, consistent boundary-setting, and understanding the underlying causes of a child’s disobedience. By concentrating on these techniques, parents can help their kids develop more respectful and cooperative relationships with them, which will ultimately help them behave better and understand each other better.
