Leo Tolstoy and his children: the difficult fatherhood of a brilliant writer

The great Russian writer Leo Tolstoy left behind an incredibly valuable creative legacy. His novels have been read for 200 years not only in Russia but all over the world, and even now, readers’ hearts are still moved by the stories of his characters, who seem like real people.

However, Leo Tolstoy’s family life is regarded with far less admiration than his literary creations; the gifted author was an extremely challenging father and husband.

On September 9, 1828, Leo Tolstoy was born in the village. born in Yasnaya Polyana, Tula province, into the aristocratic family of Count Nikolai Ilyich Tolstoy and Maria Nikolaevna, née Princess Volkonskaya. He was the youngest of four children.

Little Lyova was raised by Tatyana Aleksandrovna Ergolskaya, a distant relative, after the father and mother, who were deeply in love with one another and had a happy marriage, passed away prematurely.

Leo Tolstoy enrolled in the Department of Oriental Literature at the Philosophy Faculty of Imperial Kazan University in 1844, but he never completed his studies there. First, he failed the transition exam and was transferred to the Law Faculty, where he studied for two years. Later, in 1847, he left the university to pursue science and "achieve the highest degree of perfection in music and painting." However, he was able to establish himself as a "philosopher" about happiness, death, eternity, and love in high society during his studies.

The first school for children from peasant families opened on the young nobleman’s estate in 1849, demonstrating his progressive nature for the times. Lev Nikolaevich started writing "Childhood" and left for the Caucasus in 1851. After completing the first section, he submitted it to the Sovremennik publication. The manuscript was published on September 18, 1852, and it was an enormous hit.

When the Crimean War broke out in 1853–1856, Tolstoy enlisted in the Danube Army and wrote "Sevastopol in December 1854." After reading, Emperor Alexander II gave the order to look after the gifted officer. The well-known author, who had already gained recognition, left the military in November 1856 to tour Europe.

The thirty-four-year-old Tolstoy wed the half-hispanic Sofya Andreyevna Bers in 1862.

The daughter of a doctor, Sofya received a good education; and since she grew up in a wealthy family, she was accustomed to going out. After marriage, Tolstoy brought his wife to Yasnaya Polyana, where for 19 years she lived in isolation from the outside world. For his family, Leo Tolstoy proposed a certain "life plan" – to give part of the income to the poor and schools, and to significantly simplify the lifestyle of his family (food, clothing), while also selling and giving away "everything superfluous": a piano, furniture, carriages. His wife, Sofya Andreyevna, was not happy with this plan, which is why their first conflict broke out. Nevertheless, the couple lived together for almost 50 years.

In addition to writing the celebrated novels War and Peace (1863–1869) and Anna Karenina (1873–1877), this marriage produced 13 children. Eight made it to adulthood. The kids were raised in a strict, unpretentious household; they ate and dressed simply, played with the kids from the peasantry.

When Tolstoy’s children were young, he showed little interest in them. He acknowledged this in a letter to his aunt Alexandra Andreyevna Tolstaya in 1872: "I don’t understand why I don’t like kids that are younger than 2-3 years old." Have I mentioned the odd comment to you? Men can be divided into two categories: hunters and non-hunters. While hunters feel fear, disgust, and sympathy for infants, non-hunters adore small children, even if they are just babies. As far as I’m aware, there are no exceptions to this rule.

However, he lists all six of his children who were born at that time in the same letter, demonstrating incredible foresight in predicting their futures, as it turned out.

Tolstoy observed "babies" closely even though he may not have liked them.

What did the great writer and father of many children say about his children, and how did his children’s lives turn out?

Sergey Lvovich Tolstoy was born in 1863.

The firstborn greatly pleased his father with his talents and resemblance to the writer"s older brother, Nikolai Nikolaevich. "The eldest, blond one, is not bad. – his father wrote about him. – There is something weak and patient in his expression and very meek. When he laughs, he is not infectious, but when he cries, I can hardly restrain myself from crying. Everyone says that he looks like my older brother. I am afraid to believe. It would be too good. The main feature of the brother was not egoism or selflessness, but a strict mean. He did not sacrifice himself to anyone, but he never harmed anyone, nor did he interfere. He and rejoiced, and suffered in himself alone. Seryozha is smart, mathematical mind and sensitive to art, studies well, agile jumper, gymnastics; but strange and absent-minded … There is little originality in him ..»

Sergei Lvovich went on to become well-known as a gifted composer, musical ethnographer, and writer of articles and instructional materials. He was a Moscow Conservatory professor.

Afterwards, he was engaged in preserving his father"s legacy, wrote memoirs and articles about the role of music in the life of Leo Tolstoy under the pseudonym S. Brodinsky. He spent every summer in Yasnaya Polyana. He was the only one of Tolstoy"s children who remained to live in Soviet Russia. And the Bolsheviks, as his nephew Sergei Mikhailovich writes, respected him… But there was something inexpressibly sad in his fate. He was unhappy in his first marriage, his wife died of tuberculosis. The last years of his life were brightened by Yasnaya Polyana and communication with Nikolai Pavlovich Puzin, a leading employee of the Yasnaya Polyana museum.
Sergei Tolstoy died at the age of 84, in 1947.

Tatiana Lvovna Tolstaya was born in In 1864.

Leo Tolstoy wrote about his special closeness with Tatyana and her ability to create a cheerful, friendly atmosphere around herself. "Tanya – 8 years old. Everyone says that she looks like Sonya (wife), and I believe it, although this is also good, but I believe it because it is obvious. If she were Adam"s eldest daughter and there were no children younger than her, she would be an unhappy girl. Her best pleasure is messing around with the little ones. Obviously, she finds physical pleasure in holding and touching a small body. Her dream is now conscious – to have children … She does not like to work with her mind, but the mechanism of her head is good. She will be a wonderful woman, if God gives her a husband. And so, I am ready to give a huge bonus to the one who will make a new woman out of her".

The happiest period of the Tolstaya family’s life also happened to be Tatyana Lvovna’s childhood. Tolstoy wrote "War and Peace," and he rarely got into arguments with his wife because she was both his friend and helper.

"I grew up among people who love each other and me, – Tatyana will write in her memoirs. – It seemed to me that such an attitude was natural and inherent in human nature". Tanya absorbed the atmosphere of family harmony and harmoniously combined her father"s and mother"s character traits.
Her first passion was love for her father. She copied his manuscripts, replacing Sofya Andreyevna in this position, who eventually broke up with her husband over his new views. She took an active part in Tolstoy"s people"s publishing house "Mediator". Gradually, she became as necessary to her father as air, but precisely because of this, he … stopped noticing her. "When she is here, I do not notice her only because she is definitely a part of me, as if she is myself. She is very close to me". However, Tatyana was not and could not be his "part".
Another passion, no less strong than love for her father, lived in her – dreams of her husband, her children, her family.

Ultimately, she wed Mikhail Sukhotin, the head of the district’s nobility and a later member of the first State Duma. And she gave birth to a daughter after having multiple stillborn children.

Tatyana attended the Moscow School of Architecture, Painting, and Sculpture. She later created roughly thirty vivid paintings of her father. She published several essays and memoirs in addition to her own diary, which she had kept since she was fourteen, after inheriting his penmanship. She was in charge of the museum at Tolstoy House. She left the country in 1925 with her daughter Tatyana. Tatyana Lvovna passed away in Rome in 1950 at the age of 85.

Ilya Lvovich Tolstoy was born in 1866.

Ilya caused a lot of trouble for his parents in childhood, diligently breaking prohibitions and not showing talent for science. However, it was him that Leo Tolstoy considered the most gifted literary. “Ilya the 3rd. Never been sick. Broad-boned, white, ruddy, shining. Studies poorly. Always thinks about what he is not told to think about. Invents his own games. Careful, thrifty; “mine” is very important to him. Hot and despotic, now to fight; but also gentle and very sensitive. Sensual – loves to eat and lie quietly. When he eats currant jelly and buckwheat porridge, his lips tickle. Distinctive in everything. And when he cries, he is angry and unpleasant at the same time, and when he laughs, everyone laughs. Everything that is not allowed has a charm for him, and he immediately recognizes … If I die, the eldest, wherever he ends up, will turn out to be a nice person, almost certainly will be the first student in the institution, Ilya will perish if he does not have a strict and beloved leader".

Tolstoy was certain that Ilya would be unhappy at the same time, even though nothing had predicted this.

It was precisely then, when Ilya was already an adult, married, with many children and seemed happy to everyone, Tolstoy wrote in his diary: "The main thing is that he is not happy at all. As for a spider, it is already raining when it is just starting to get damp, so for me he is already as unhappy as he will be in twenty years". Ilya was unable to finish high school, he was in military service, then worked as an official, an agent for the liquidation of estates, served in a bank.
Later, Ilya Lvovich became a journalist, founded a newspaper, but received recognition only after emigrating to America. There, his works were published in various publications, but he received his main income from lecturing on his father’s work. He was married twice, and in his first marriage with Sofia Filosofova, seven children were born.
He died at the age of 67 (in 1933) in America from cancer.

Lev Lvovich Tolstoy was born in In 1869.

The third son of the writer was more like his mother, from whom he derived his practical sense. Later, in disputes within the family, he consistently sided with his mother. "Beautiful, agile, memorably elegant, and graceful. He looks as though every dress was made just for him. He is very good and deft at everything, and he does everything that others do. His father wrote, "I still don’t understand it well" about him. Lev Lvovich described himself as having a highly contradictory nature in his writings, and Sofya Andreevna saw his uneasiness and lack of joy. Nonetheless, a gift for writing, musicality, and artistic talent more than made up for a lack of particular zeal for science.

Lev Lvovich Tolstoy wrote numerous children’s books and autobiographies about his father, leaving his imprint on history.

He has resided in Sweden since 1918. He was married twice; he had ten children from his first marriage to Dora Westerlund and one son from his second marriage to Marianna Solskaya. In 1945, Lev Lvovich passed away in Sweden at the age of 76.

Maria Lvovna Tolstaya was born in 1871.

Maria had health issues from an early age. Out of all the kids, she is the only one who received outward displays of affection from the writer, such as a hug or pat. Sonya was dying with her fifth child, Masha, who was two years old. A sickly, weak child. Similar to milk, with a pale complexion and wavy white hair; big, peculiar blue eyes; and an odd, grave expression. incredibly intelligent but unattractive. This is going to be one of the puzzles. She will endure suffering and search in vain, but she will never give up looking for the most elusive.

The circumstances surrounding Maria Lvovna Tolstaya’s birth are linked to Lev Nikolaevich and Sofya Andreyevna’s initial significant argument.

Tolstoy’s wife became pregnant again while nursing Lyovushka, who was one year old at the time. She was not pleased with this. She was sick of giving birth and nursing, sick of feeling like a woman all the time instead of a woman. Masha also experienced near-death complications from childbed fever following her early birth. Physicians recommended her to stop having kids. However, her spouse was adamantly opposed to it. Without children, he could not fathom what family life would be like. Divorce was almost the result of this.

Maria quickly developed into Tolstoy’s loyal shadow. She already shared all of his newfound beliefs as a teenager: she was a strict vegetarian and had given up on society. She handled Lev Nikolaevich’s correspondence and copied his texts. She not only assisted her father but also all of Yasnaya Polyana’s peasants. Astute, tactful, and multilingual in multiple languages, Maria helped the peasants with everything from lawn care to milking cows, fighting fires, replacing roofs on burned-out huts, teaching them to read and write, tending to peasant women, and giving birth.

As Maria grew older, she desired a happy family life, but her father turned away every candidate she had picked.

“Is it really possible that the world has converged into a wedge and there is only one person on this wedge, – he wrote to his daughter. – From the outside, I can see that this one person is blocking the world from you, and the sooner he gets away, the brighter and better you are". Only when his daughter turned 26 – at that time, this was a huge age – Tolstoy agreed to her marriage to the impoverished Prince Nikolai Obolensky. But one after another, she, like her older sister, gave birth to stillborn children, Sofia Andreevna believed that the reason for this was vegetarianism. My father"s attitude to this was amazing! Of course, he felt sorry for his beloved daughter and tried to console her. But in a strange way… For example, after another unsuccessful birth, he wrote to her: "And no matter how sad it is in the material sense, for your spiritual life it is undoubtedly beneficial…".

"Maria was not able to become pregnant… At Yasnaya Polyana, she passed away from pneumonia in 1906 at the age of 35.

Tolstoy’s entry about his son Peter is less fascinating.

"The sixth Peter is enormous. A large, endearing baby in a cap twists his elbows and dashes in a direction. When she holds him, the wife bursts into ecstatic excitement and haste, but I don’t understand anything. I am aware of the substantial physical reserve. However, I’m not sure if there is anything else for which a reserve is required.

However, there was no way to confirm this. At the age of one, Pyotr Lvovich Tolstoy (1872–1873) passed away. Along with him, Alyosha lived for five years, while Nikolai and Varya passed away in infancy.

In 1877, Andrei Lvovich Tolstoy was born.

"After Peter, Nikolai, and Varvara passed away, Lev Nikolaevich did not participate much in the upbringing of the younger children.

He gave them far less instruction than he did love them, though that cannot be said.

His mother’s favorite was Andrei. However, his love of women, wine, and a very free lifestyle upset his father a great deal. Andrei Lvovich participated in the Russo-Japanese War without displaying any unique abilities, sustained injuries, and was given the St. George Cross in recognition of his valor. He was subsequently employed as a high-level official. He had three children from his two marriages and was twice married.

In 1916, he passed away in Petrograd at the age of 39 from sepsis. He attended his own funeral in a foretelling dream he had just before he passed away.

Mikhail Lvovich Tolstoy was born in 1879.

Nevertheless, Mikhail’s childhood musical ability and desire to compose music did not reappear in his adult life. He opted for a military career and fought in the First World War. 1920 saw his emigration.

"During his final years, he resided in Morocco, where he wrote his sole composition, "Mitya Tiverin," which is Mikhail Lvovich’s memoirs about his time spent in Yasnaya Polyana.

Having nine children, he was married. passed away in Morocco in 1944 at the age of 65.

Alexandra Lvovna Tolstaya was born in 1884.

At sixteen, the youngest daughter of the writer was already managing the duties of her father’s personal secretary. Many remarked on her talent and grave outlook on life. Alexandra led a military medical detachment and served as a nurse during World War I.

She was detained and given a three-year sentence in 1920, but she was released early and went back to Yasnaya Polyana, where in 1924 she took on the role of curator of the museum while also carrying out volunteer work.

Moved to the United States in 1929. actively participated in lectures, penned father-focused memoirs, founded and oversaw the Tolstoy Foundation. assisted Russian migrants to the United States. Alexandra Lvovna, who lived to be 95 years old, passed away in America in 1979.

Ivan, the younger child and the family’s thirteenth child, had a countlike appearance. Tolstoy believed that his son would carry on his dad’s legacy. A gifted, kind, and perceptive young man who shocked everyone with his generosity and seriousness. At the age of seven, Vanya developed scarlet fever and passed away.

The 1880s. After going through a severe crisis, Leo Tolstoy came to reject official state power and its institutions, accept death as inevitable, have faith in God, and develop his own philosophy, known as Tolstoyism. He developed suicidal thoughts, lost interest in the typical lordly life, and felt compelled to live morally, become a vegetarian, work hard in the classroom and on the farm, plow, sew boots, and instruct students.

Tolstoy publicly gave up the copyright to his writings published after 1880 in 1891. And because he didn’t want to be the owner, he signed a separate act in 1892 and gave all real estate to his wife and kids.

Between 1889 and 1899. Leo Tolstoy wrote the book "Resurrection," whose plot is based on a true court case, as well as critical articles about the public administration system. In 1901, the Holy Synod anathematized and excommunicated Count Leo Tolstoy from the Orthodox Church.

His marriage to his wife had completely collapsed in the last few years as their mutual suspicions and grievances had become an almost manic obsession. Rereading Tolstoy’s diaries, Sofya Andreyevna searched for any negative things he might have written about her. He then chastised his wife for being unduly suspicious; their final, deadly argument happened on October 27–28, 1910.

"Don’t think that I left because I don’t love you," Tolstoy wrote in his farewell letter to Sofya Andreyevna before packing his bags and leaving the house. You have my undying love and sympathy, but I am unable to "act differently than I do." Family legend has it that Sofya Tolstaya hurried to drown herself after reading the note; amazingly, she was saved from the pond.

We went to the patient in the stationmaster’s home after hearing soon that the count, who had developed a cold, was dying of pneumonia at the Astapovo station. He had not even wanted to see his wife and children at that point. Lev Nikolayevich and Sofya Andreyevna’s final meeting occurred shortly before the author’s passing on November 7, 1910.

The Countess lived nine years longer than her husband, published his diaries, and endured criticism that she was an unworthy wife of a genius until the end of her life.

Kartashova, Maria, 13.02.21

One of the most well-known authors in history, Leo Tolstoy, also had 13 children, but he faced many difficulties in his parental role. Despite his strong family devotion, his rigid morals and philosophical beliefs frequently caused conflict and miscommunication with his kids. The intricate and occasionally tense relationships within Tolstoy’s household were shaped by his struggles to strike a balance between his personal ideals and the demands of fatherhood.

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