When natural conception isn’t an option, surrogacy is a special way for families to welcome a child into their lives. It gives many people hope and a route to parenthood that would otherwise seem unattainable. It does, however, come with its own set of difficulties and factors, just like any significant decision.
On the one hand, surrogacy gives infertile couples or individuals the chance to enjoy parenthood. It also provides an amazing opportunity for women who are able and willing to serve as surrogates to help others. Across the globe, this process has made a lot of families happy.
However, surrogacy can bring up difficult moral, financial, and emotional issues. Concerns have been raised regarding the possible effects on the intended parents, the child, and the surrogate mother. Furthermore, depending on the location of the surrogacy, there may be significant differences in cultural and legal considerations.
It’s critical for anyone thinking about surrogacy to be aware of both the advantages and disadvantages. It’s an extremely personal choice that needs to be well-considered and planned for.
What is it?
With the use of surrogacy, which is an officially recognized assisted reproductive technology, couples who are completely unable to conceive or bear a child can have a genetically "own" child. Couples who were unable to conceive due to medical conditions or congenital or acquired abnormalities in the development of the reproductive system (uterus, vagina, or ovaries) had two choices in the past: adopt a child from an orphanage or choose to be childless.
Surrogacy offers an infertile couple the opportunity to conceive a child related by blood and genes. It has been around since Plutarch’s time, but it was given a "second wind" only in 1980. Apart from married couples, other individuals who use surrogate mothers include single women with severe uterine pathologies or other medical conditions that make pregnancy and childbirth completely unfeasible, and single men who have "matured" into conscious fatherhood.
The IVF technique is used to achieve fertilization. The man’s sperm and the woman’s egg are given to the doctors. The surrogate mother is a healthy, reproductive-age woman who has undergone the required testing. Fertilization takes place in the lab, and after a few days of culture, the embryos are placed into her uterus.
She carries and gives birth to the baby (or babies), but they don’t belong to her. The woman agrees to give the newborn to its biological parents after giving birth.
Donor sex cells can also be used for IVF under the surrogacy program; a single woman can use donor sperm, and a single man can use cryobanked oocytes. But since the child will be biologically related to her, the surrogate mother herself lacks both the moral and legal authority to donate her own eggs for fertilization. This could complicate matters because the surrogate mother might refuse to give up the child and grow attached to him.
The phrase "gestational courier" has taken the place of "surrogate mother," per the World Health Organization’s recommendation. Since a newborn can only have one mother—his biological mother—who will raise and educate him, this is more reasonable and accurate.
It’s not easy to become a gestational carrier because there are strict health requirements for women. She must not only be in good health but also be a mother of her own children. For infertile couples as well as single Russian men and women, finding a suitable gestational carrier can be challenging: in spite of the large number of reproductive agencies, clinics with databases of surrogate mothers, and specialized online forums and communities, a good, responsible, and decent gestational carrier these days is truly hard to come by.
A gestational carrier receives payment for their "work." The candidate’s agreement with their biological parents determines the fee, which is not subject to any regulations.
Given that this choice can have far-reaching effects, both those who wish to employ the services of a gestational courier and those who are considering a "career" as surrogate mothers should carefully consider the advantages and disadvantages.
Advantages
Gestational carriers unquestionably help many couples and single men and women achieve their long-awaited and arduous goal of parenthood. Each of us has a genetic predisposition to want to procreate and raise our own children; this is a necessary part of the civilization process. And in certain cases, there is really no other option except to use a surrogate mother.
The absence of the uterus, its developmental defects, post-traumatic changes, as well as a long list of illnesses and conditions in which a woman cannot bear a child on her own due to the high risk of her own death, are the clear indications for such assisted reproductive technology, according to the Russian Ministry of Health. Indices are not necessary for single men.
Infertility affects 17–20% of Russian families today. Roughly 50% of these need help with reproduction. About 5–7% of these families, according to statistics, are unable to manage without a gestational courier.
A woman used to be sent home with a diagnosis of "infertility" and a blue stamp across her certificate. She has a chance today. She’ll be able to have her own strong, healthy child if she determines that surrogacy is acceptable for her.
An arrangement to assist an infertile couple is a means for surrogate moms to alleviate their own challenging financial circumstances. In Russia, the average cost of a service ranges from one to three million rubles. For example, a woman without a place to live may need a new apartment, or she may need an urgent solution to pay for an expensive medical procedure for a family member. Circumstances vary. Married women who choose to become surrogates with their spouses’ approval do so for a variety of reasons, and trust me when I say that each of them has very good reasons.
You might wonder why, given that surrogacy benefits all parties involved, society views it so negatively. The debate between proponents and opponents of this auxiliary reproductive technology is likely never going to end because each side presents compelling evidence to support their position. With a high degree of probability, the scales would have stayed in equilibrium if there had been a chance to place them on them. For this reason, gestational couriers and their "customers" find it equally difficult to decide whether to join the Surmatium program.
Flaws
Future biological parents and surmams alike are still in the decision-making stage and must deal with moral dilemmas. Most of the time, friends and family are embarrassed to acknowledge that a couple needs the assistance of a stranger from abroad. To prevent others, including their own people, from realizing the cost of motherhood, many biological moms impersonate pregnant and cover their stomachs with special overlays.
The attending physician is not permitted by bioethics to reveal this information to anyone at any point. The husband, wife, and female gestational courier are the only three individuals who are aware of the significant secret. Information leaks should still be feared, though, since the human factor cannot be disregarded.
Those who aspire to become parents should be on the lookout for con artists who disappear after accepting an advance payment via the Internet. Additionally, biological parents frequently come across cases of manipulation: after finding out she is pregnant, a woman starts to blackmail her "customers" by threatening to have an abortion or to start smoking and drinking alcohol if they do not increase her fee or meet other requirements. After giving birth, a woman may occasionally find that she is unwilling to part with her child because she will grow accustomed to it over the course of the nine months.
The baby’s health could also be in jeopardy if the biological parents come across a woman who has fake medical certificates and is ill. Unaccountable surrogate mothers might neglect or refuse to take prescription drugs on time, skip doctor appointments, and disregard a healthy diet and nutrition plan while pregnant. Generally speaking, there is a very long list of potential issues.
Even the gestational carrier herself may fall prey to dishonest "clients." If they are not specified in the contract, they might not pay her after giving birth or they might refuse to cover any unanticipated costs associated with the pregnancy. Biological parents may divorce while the child is still being carried for them, leaving the child to suffer from arguments within the family or be abandoned completely. The surrogate mother will have to decide what to do with the child and who will cover her immediate expenses.
The "customers’" attitude toward the "performer" isn’t always appropriate and correct. It is not uncommon to come across biological parents who desire complete control over the pregnancy, who set up security cameras everywhere—including the restroom and kitchen—and who forbid their child from leaving the house to conduct personal business. Naturally, worries that the surrogate mother will break the agreement and hurt the child justifies these actions. Not every couple in this predicament has the ability to pause in time and discern where the boundaries of reason are, where one person’s freedom ends and theirs begins.
The contract that governs the relationship between the biological parents and the gestational carrier should cover every aspect, including every scenario that may arise and ensure that everyone’s interests are met to the fullest extent possible. It is preferable to leave such work to the experts, such as attorneys from clinics where couples are observed or mediators between surrogate moms and "customers." However, there is no assurance that everything will go according to plan or that there won’t be any misunderstandings or problems at all—not even with an extremely detailed and capable contract.
Another unclear issue is whether or not to disclose the child’s birth story to him as he gets older. This is forbidden by bioethics for both the gestational carrier and the physicians. However, there might be a leak of information, and some parents feel that it is their moral obligation to disclose this family secret to their adult child.
According to psychologists, this kind of truth can lead to issues with self-identification in an individual, particularly if that individual has not yet reached adulthood or has only recently passed this age threshold.
An opportunity to have a biological child through surrogacy provides infertile couples with a potentially life-changing resolution. But it also brings up difficult moral, legal, and emotional issues, like the possibility of exploitation, the expense, and the psychological strain on everyone concerned. Although it brings the joy of parenthood, the process necessitates carefully weighing its advantages and disadvantages.
Moral issues
It is probably impossible to get the clergy of almost any religion to approve or bless surrogacy. The majority of beliefs strongly denounce and reject this reproductive technology as immoral. The fundamental tenet of every religion is to accept the gift bestowed upon us by God with humility and patience. This is broken by spouses who desire a child above all else.
According to Orthodoxy, couples who refuse to acknowledge their infertility as a given are already breaking one of God’s commandments. The Church is generally more supportive of IVF, but only if doctors are allowed to use the husband and wife’s sex cells to create embryos. Orthodox priests contend that surrogacy and donor material violate the great sacrament of Christian marriage and completely devalue motherhood, turning it into a business deal. The Russian Orthodox Church’s central tenet is that human life is priceless, and in this instance, the child is turned into a commodity to be bought and sold.
The admirers of Islam are entirely in agreement with the Orthodox priests. Spouses who declare they would like to use a surrogate mother to bear their children will not receive the blessing of a mullah. Muslim women who wish to work as gestational couriers themselves are uncommon because committing such a transgression carries a heavy penalty in Islam: the woman may lose all of her friends and family.
All forms of assisted reproduction, including IVF, ICSI, intrauterine insemination, and surrogacy, are strictly forbidden by Catholicism.
Although Judaism is more accepting of gestational carriers, if the surrogate mother is a relative (which is legal in Russia), then an IVF protocol will never be carried out in Israel. A nation where the state pays for IVF in full and supports all reproductive methods severely restricts related "services" because rabbis view this as incest, which is a serious offense.
Buddhism is the only religion that demonstrates the most tolerance toward gestational carriers. Its adherents think that happiness is the most important thing and that surrogacy is the only way to achieve this happiness, so why not?
Apart from matters concerning faith and religion, every individual involved in the process might encounter a personal crisis. The likelihood that a woman-gestational courier who chooses to join the program for the first time will find it extremely difficult to give up the child she carried inside of her and gave birth to is significantly higher. Though the baby is a complete stranger to her, she will understand and realize in her mind that she can genuinely love him in her heart.
The baby’s biological parents may also go through a mental breakdown because the husbands feel a little uncomfortable in this scenario, and the women in these couples are plagued by feelings of guilt because it wasn’t them who gave birth to the child.
The following are the arguments advanced by those opposed to surrogacy: the program itself defies natural laws, it violates the souls of all participants, and the results may be surprisingly unexpected. Regretfully, divorces occur frequently. The biological parents eventually part ways after successfully finishing the course of treatment and being sent home from the maternity hospital with balloons and flowers because the secret they bear becomes too heavy and the mental strain becomes too great.
Families of gestational couriers typically disintegrate after the woman, if she has a husband, receives the required funds for the baby’s birth. Most men still find it hard to believe that their wife consented to this at all, even if their consent validated their spouse’s participation in the program. Divorce results from the start of conflicts and the increasing frequency of rebukes that follow.
| Pros of Surrogacy | Cons of Surrogacy |
| Helps couples who can"t conceive have a child. | Can be expensive and time-consuming. |
| Allows biological connection for parents. | Legal and ethical issues may arise. |
| Option for same-sex couples to start a family. | Emotional challenges for all parties involved. |
| Surrogates receive financial compensation. | Possible health risks for the surrogate. |
Making the decision to become a surrogate has many benefits and drawbacks and is very personal. It gives those who might not otherwise be able to have children hope and joy by providing a path to parenthood when other options are not feasible for a large number of families. Involving the intended parents in the pregnancy process also helps them to develop a special bond with the surrogate and the child.
But there can be substantial financial and emotional costs associated with surrogacy. It entails difficult legal decisions, the welfare of the kid and the surrogate, and difficult ethical decisions. Even though it offers many people a solution, there are risks involved, so it’s crucial that everyone is aware of them.
In the end, becoming a surrogate can be a fulfilling experience, but it’s crucial for those thinking about it to carefully consider the benefits and drawbacks, get professional advice, and make sure that every choice is made with the best interests of all parties—especially the child—in mind.
