The child hits his mother: how to react and what to do?

A child hitting their mother can be upsetting and shocking at the same time. It’s normal to feel overpowered or uncertain of how to react. It’s critical for both the parent and the child to comprehend why this occurs and to determine how best to respond.

When children are unable to verbally communicate their feelings, they frequently act out physically. Frustration, rage, or even a need for attention could be the source of this behavior. Understanding how to read these cues will help you decide how to react.

It’s critical to approach the matter coolly and strategically. Instead of responding with rage or discipline, concentrate on teaching your child how to express their emotions in healthy ways. You can teach them more effective ways to express themselves and foster a closer, more courteous relationship if you have the necessary patience and understanding.

Baby up to a year

Such a "affectionate attitude" toward the mother typically starts to show in a baby around the age of one year. However, the child frequently feels the power of his small fists prior to this time.

Let’s start by discussing a baby’s psychology up to a year old. The child still doesn’t understand any social standards or behavioral guidelines at this age—in other words, nothing. He’s just starting to learn about his body at this point in his growth. Utilizing the physical skills he acquires knowledge of. There’s no doubting the propriety of his own actions at this age.

Up to a year old is when the child starts to get proficient at standing up straight. He has free hands. With their assistance, he starts interacting with the environment, making an effort to change it, and getting feedback on the actions he mimics. The infant determines what is and is not possible.

He is still in the research stage and is still getting used to speaking with others. All of this is already known to you, as is the need to ask questions, listen to others, etc. before taking anything. Furthermore, the child is unaware of this. The baby starts to express his own needs and wants, which, crucially, don’t always align with yours. Naturally, the child starts to use every resource at his disposal to get what he wants.

You have to realize that these kinds of behavioral expressions are perfectly typical for this age group. The baby has no intention of intentionally hurting you or making you feel horrible. A child under the age of one year old acts involuntarily and without conscious control. In this instance, learning about the world is more important than being aggressive. The infant will eventually pick up on the customs and regulations.

Watch the Crisis of a Year course to learn how to properly communicate with an adult child.

The child is 1-2 years old

There is a need for this phase of increasingly self-aware behavior and expression.

The infant is attempting to communicate his needs to you as a result. Here, it’s critical to make an effort to comprehend what’s going on and why this behavior is occurring.

The child may exhibit conscious anger as early as one year of age.

He is subject to a great deal of restrictions. Most of the time, it proves to be impossible to take whatever the baby reaches for or tries to take. Prohibitions are covered in my previous article, The Child Does Not Understand the Word "No."

A child who experiences too many restrictions will eventually accumulate anger and protest inside of them, and these feelings must find a way to surface.

Additionally, a one-year-old baby may raise his tiny fists in response to overwhelming feelings and impressions. The child goes through a phase where he feels happy and unhappy with his entire body. It’s possible that he will hit you out of passion.

It’s critical to maintain composure, comprehend the feelings underlying the behavior, and establish firm boundaries when a child hits their mother in order to teach them that hitting is unacceptable. To help their child find healthier ways to express their emotions, parents should show empathy, reward good behavior, and work to address the underlying cause of the aggression—whether it’s lack of communication, frustration, or something else entirely.

A child at 2-3 years old hits his mother

Here, we’re discussing particular feelings and how they manifest consciously. A child as young as two years old already knows what it feels like to be happy, sad, or painful.

We can say that this type of interaction and communication has already evolved at this age. When a baby witnesses such behavior in kindergarten or on the street, he may decide for himself that "this is exactly how I will behave."

Additionally, the child witnesses a family member using their fists to communicate. Maybe you didn’t set the proper limits at the appropriate times, and the baby learned that it’s okay to let go in order to accomplish his own objectives.

There’s one more intriguing thing to consider regarding the behavior that you are modeling. It’s about your overly sentimental expression of your love for the child. I refer to different visas, pinching, etc.D. However, you are well aware of the limits and when to give up, and in a child, these boundaries are blurred.

A lack of attention could be another reason why the baby throws their fists in your direction. For a child, you are everything and more. He will do anything to get your attention. If certain approaches don’t work, the baby will undoubtedly try other ones, possibly even harmful ones.

It’s critical to appropriately establish boundaries and guidelines within the family to prevent such behavior. See the training online course obedience without yelling and threats for information on how to accomplish this, where to begin, and what underwater stones are located along this path >>>

Child 3 – 4 years

You can already discuss the issues with the child’s upbringing and spoiling without risk at this age. Reaching your objectives with your fists is a sign of low emotional intelligence. The child is unable to articulate his negative emotions in any other manner. The cause could be the same outside model of other kids’ conduct in the yard sandbox, in kindergarten, on the street, etc.

Additionally, the rationale behind this kind of interaction with others at the age of three or four may serve as an illustration of family communication. Family disputes are a prime example of aggressive behavior, which the child will use as a model for his interactions with you and other people.

Don’t forget about his incapacity to communicate his feelings either. Help your child learn alternative ways to express their emotions. Say, tap their fists on the couch, stamp their feet, etc. Never permit them to vent their resentment on people or animals.

What you can"t do

Let’s talk about errors first. What you thus cannot do is:

• React passively. Example: phrases with a calm expression: “you can’t do that, it’s not good”. It doesn"t go beyond words. Sometimes this is not enough to stop the baby;
• Turn into a child, feigning resentment, crying, saying: "it hurts me". This will not make the baby stop. In this case, you are moving into the position of a baby, and he is not able to say in a strict, adult voice with a serious look: "stop, you can"t do this to me". You refuse on the same level as the child, not being an authority at the moment;
• Hug, kiss. This way you will consolidate the fist form of communication and in the end you will get an adult man who raises his hand against a woman without any remorse;
• Hit in response to the baby"s blows.
• Saying phrases like: "only bad boys (girls) behave like this". This criticism gets to the core of your child"s personality. It is important to explain how to achieve what you want in a different way;
• Smile in response. The child perceives the current situation as a game that can be played constantly.

Why you can’t hit a child in response?

For the baby, you serve as a behavioral role model. You are the one who sets an example for him.

The plan is straightforward: if my mother can do it, then so can I, and in fact, I ought to act in this manner as well. It is not acceptable to give up and then strike back, intending to cause the child to experience all the associated bodily feelings. In this manner, you automatically disprove what you said.

It is inappropriate for you to act like a child as an adult. The infant should, on the other hand, pull himself up to you.

It’s crucial to keep in mind that a child hitting their mother frequently does so out of frustration or a lack of emotional expression. You can assist your child in learning more effective coping mechanisms for their emotions by remaining composed and understanding.

Urge your child to communicate their emotions through words, and set an example for them to follow. To ensure that your child understands that hitting is unacceptable, set clear boundaries and respond consistently.

During these times, never stop teaching and encouraging your child. You can teach them more constructive ways to express themselves and control their emotions if you are patient and provide guidance.

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