What to do if a child fights in kindergarten: advice from a psychologist

Parents may become concerned when their kindergarten-aged child begins to fight. It’s normal to want to know why they are acting in this manner and how you can assist. It’s crucial to treat the situation with empathy because children this age are still learning how to communicate and express their feelings.

These tantrums frequently indicate frustration, insecurity, or trouble integrating into the social setting. The first step in treating the behavior is identifying its underlying cause. The key to assisting your child in overcoming these obstacles is to listen to them and maintain your composure.

Under the supervision of a psychologist, parents can acquire efficient techniques to instruct children in more constructive conflict resolution. Your child can thrive in kindergarten by emphasizing positive communication and emotional development.

Why does a child hit children?

During a certain stage of their development, children can express their need for assistance through aggression. It is the responsibility of parents to ascertain precisely what their child requires assistance with.

Reasons for aggressive behavior in children

• Perhaps it is a health issue. High excitability, the discharge of which the child commits in the form of aggression on other people, can be caused by increased intracranial pressure. How long has it been since the child was examined?? Perhaps there is a reason to go to the doctors.
• Children imitate their parents" behavior. If pressure and hostility are the norm in your home, if the child is punished with physical force by older family members, then he does not see any other way of punishment except by raising his hands, and it would be surprising to expect a different behavior from your child. From an early age, a child gets used to the rule "strong means right and important".
• Children often copy the behavior of cartoon characters and various video games. After all, it is very easy to entrust your child to the monitor so that it does not distract you from important things. Many parents use this method, and they do not even realize how much violence is poured out on the child from the TV screen or computer.
• Children feel lonely. You are only worried about the thought of them being well-fed, dressed and going to bed on time. And to chat? Find out today"s impressions, joys or sorrows? After all, communication is just as important and necessary for a small person as it is for an adult. That is why he gets into a fight to attract your attention, to provoke your concern.
• Your child is rejected by his friends in kindergarten. Someone may even be offended. There have been situations when a child is offended and other children do not want to play with him, because he wears glasses, because he does not pronounce words very well, or for many other not serious reasons. By fighting, he tries to convince them that he can be accepted in a group of children who reject him. However, the child does not understand that in this way he only makes things worse, no one wants to communicate with him after his aggression.
• Your child is too energetic. It is as if a small motor was implanted in him that does not stop for a second – such is his character. How he can cope with his high activity, energy and assertiveness, he simply cannot imagine. And the hands are getting wild. Such a child, without realizing it, can give two comrades bruises in an instant, most importantly – absolutely by accident.
• Children can fight for a warm spot. The attention of educators, the best toys, all this does not go to one child, as he is used to at home, in kindergarten your child has to compete with other children.
• It is also possible that your children are simply poorly brought up. They do not understand what is allowed and what is not, what is bad and what is good. Therefore, he does as he pleases.

Does the child fight in your presence?

What kind of behavior does your child permit himself in the house? Abrupt mood swings, ranging from bitter tears to wild fun? Able to swing or even strike a family member or friend in front of you? Positive responses almost certainly mean that your child has reached a developmental stage where it’s critical for him to understand his strengths and the boundaries of his tolerances.

Naturally, you don’t have to make a big deal out of little things, but you do need to respond appropriately when someone acts aggressively:

• Forbid your child to hit anyone;
• Looking straight into the eyes, say your prohibition in a confident and firm voice;
• Even if the child resists and tries to escape, repeat your words with the same intonation;
• You may have to repeat your reaction several times;
• In the future, figure out how to properly direct your child"s energy to his own development; joint games in which he can run, jump and scream heartily will help you with this.

Does he raise his hand to you?

About the time a child turns one year old, both free space for exploration and numerous restrictions start to appear in his life. As a result, you want to ascend higher and eat everything that comes in your path. However, he only hears, "Don’t accept it! Avoid going here! You’re not able to!" A blow, a scream, a cry, or a bite from mom will be a normal response to them. For a child, fighting with their mother is almost a natural way to express their displeasure.

Demonstrating that such behavior is not permitted within the family is crucial. Right now, you have to hold his hand. Say that you are offended and hurt if he hits you. Teach him how to use alternative means of expressing his dissatisfaction. It’s also a good idea to try limiting the number of restrictions to just those that are absolutely essential. To prevent the child from opening the cabinets and chest of drawers by themselves, place stoppers on the drawers, for instance. Put the appropriate plugs into the sockets.

The baby’s closest social circle is his or her parents, and they will "test" how you respond to different situations in life. When you reprimand a child for hitting you and exclaim, "Wow, how strong you are!" while grinning, be aware that this behavior may become engrained in him and that he may eventually be able to hit even harder than other people.

When a kindergartener begins to fight, it’s critical to recognize that frustration, an inability to communicate feelings, or difficulties with social skills are frequently the root causes of this behavior. To help their child learn more constructive ways to handle conflict, parents should remain composed, engage in conversation with the child to better understand their feelings, and collaborate with the teacher. A psychologist might advise promoting honest dialogue, setting an example of good behavior, and teaching the young person appropriate ways to express their feelings.

How to wean off fighting?

Every parent of an aggressive child wonders what to do when their child gets into trouble with other kids. Expert psychologists with a track record of successfully resolving behavioral issues in kids will contribute to the resolution of this query.

1. The most important thing is to get rid of conflicts in the house. The kid should know how to achieve results without using aggression, you need to show this by your example.
2. You need to explain to the child how he can express his anger without harming others at the same time. You can try to give your beloved child a special place where he will have the opportunity to tear paper, cry, scream and stamp his feet. Thus, you will let him understand that his aggression can be kept under control and there is no need to harm other children.
3. How to behave when your child is excessively active? Maybe he does not know where to direct his activity. In this case, you need to keep the child busy with outdoor games, intellectual activities at home, so that he does not have time to offend other children.
4. Let"s say you witnessed your child offending another child, in such a situation, it is necessary to explain that he acted incorrectly. You need to tell the child to ask for forgiveness from his victim, come home, thoroughly discuss this situation with him and demand that he behave well in the future.
5. It is customary in your house to punish the child? It is better to leave this. You can anger and offend the child, and if he does not understand why he was punished, you risk losing his trust. The child is capable of withdrawing into himself and allowing aggression in another place, secretly from you. To avoid such situations, we recommend punishing with a temporary ban on communication with other children.
6. If your child is already over 6 years old and goes to school, then you need to talk about his aggressive actions with the teacher, find out what you can do together with the teacher to correct the student"s actions.
7. It also happens that a child begins to beat other children after he himself was offended by peers. In order to be aware of what is happening with your child at school, so that he tells you himself, complete trust between the child and the parents is necessary. This will allow you to notice oddities in your offspring"s behavior in time. Such trust will help you avoid many problems, you will be able to pay attention to the slightest changes in the student"s behavior.
8. Encouraging aggression is not allowed even as self-defense.

How to teach a child to throw out negative emotions?

And what, specifically, helps you manage your anger? Can you count to ten? Or should you go hit a punching bag at the gym? Tell your child about your personal experience. For him, it will be the most valuable.

Here are a few more techniques examples: I can stamp my feet and clench my fists tightly when I’m upset. I’m so enraged right now! I’m more than a pillow! incredibly difficult. I should vent all of my rage on it. I have the ability to express my anger, which is forceful and colorful, and then break it up into tiny fragments to make colorful confetti. When he gets mad, I can howl and scream like a lion that is unstoppable. These are all legitimate methods of letting go.

Additionally, engaging in physical activities such as playing sports, war games, and, for younger children (4 years and under), cat and mouse games, where parents and kids take turns acting as the attacker or hunter, the victim or runner, etc., can help release pent-up aggression.

It can be upsetting for parents and teachers when their kindergartener fights, but it’s crucial to keep in mind that this behavior usually indicates that guidance is needed rather than punishment. To help your child learn more constructive ways to express their feelings and work through conflicts, you must address the underlying cause.

It’s critical to have open communication with your child. Invite them to share their emotions and frustrations. While you listen, show empathy and support without passing judgment. This teaches them that emotions can be managed in a composed manner and fosters trust.

Collaborating with educators and caregivers can also have a significant impact. Maintaining a consistent routine both at home and in kindergarten can help reinforce positive behaviors and foster a secure environment for your child.

Above all, patience is essential. It takes time to learn impulse control and social skills. Your child can overcome aggressive tendencies and forge stronger bonds with peers with your help and the assistance of experts.

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A child fights in kindergarten, advice from a psychologist