What to do if a child is bullied in kindergarten?

Managing bullying can pose a challenge for parents, particularly when it affects young children enrolled in kindergarten. Seeing your child upset or nervous over something at school is heartbreaking. It’s important to know how to react to the situation and support your child.

Children often learn how to handle social situations on their own for the first time in kindergarten. This can occasionally result in arguments, miscommunications, or even bullying. Understanding the warning signs and acting quickly can have a significant impact on your child’s health.

It’s critical to maintain composure and take a measured approach to the situation if your child is being bullied. The most important things to do are to talk to your child, get in touch with the teachers, and make a plan to deal with the bullying. The most important thing is making sure your child feels supported and safe.

First steps

Initially, ascertain the extent of the "catastrophe": pay attention to your child’s grievances regarding a specific Vasya or Kolya who mistreats, steals toys, bites, or spits in their soup. Ask the peanut as many questions as you can about this kolya, including his name, surname, circumstances under which the aggressor starts to act, and the frequency of his actions. You should also inquire as to whether he and other kids find your child offensive or the only thing limiting them. Avoid drawing hasty judgments and informing your child that Vasya-Kolya is a bad boy. You must grasp everything with sobriety.

When a toddler tells about being hurt, crying, and cries, it is normal for parents to want to jump to their defense and punish everyone and everything. Don’t rush things though; your behavior now will define your child’s ability to learn how to respond appropriately to aggressors and offenders, and your child will encounter many more of them in his lifetime.

• Talking to the teacher. Ask him the same questions that you previously asked your own child, at the same time noting whether your baby was truthful in everything. In a conversation with a teaching staff member, it is important to find out how aggressive Kolya-Vasya is towards other children, whether there are objective circumstances that can explain his behavior, and whether your child provoked him himself. If the teacher does not know anything about the conflict, you need to ask her to observe the relationship of your child with a specific “offender”, transfer the conversation for a couple of days. If the teacher is aware of what happened, he should be reminded that communication with the parents of the aggressor is his, the teacher"s, task to insist on such a conversation.

• Do not talk to the offender, do not quarrel with his parents. Very often angry mothers and fathers begin to scold someone else"s child or wait for his parents to arrive, reprimanding them in raised tones. Remember that Kolya-Vasya"s parents will also defend their child. The more aggressively you attack them, the more actively they will defend themselves. A constructive conversation will not work.

The child’s psychologist and teacher at the children’s facility should speak with the parents and the child. They may even suggest that the parents take the child to see behavior and psychocorrection specialists.

• Raise the issue at a parent meeting and talk to other parents, if the teacher"s conversation did not bring the desired result. According to a collective appeal of mothers and fathers for their signatures addressed to the head, it is possible to remove a problematic aggressive pupil from the group, who does not want to behave respectfully towards others at all. But no one has the right to expel a child. If there is no second group of your age in the kindergarten, it will be legally impossible to transfer the "aggressor".
• If nothing helps, contact the head with a statement and a request to draw up an appeal to the Commission on Minors" Affairs. Parents of the offender who refuse to take action against their child, because of whom other children in the group suffer, will deal with the police and representatives of the education department.

How to help your child?

External actions make up the algorithm mentioned above. However, you will also require internal measures that will assist in providing your child with support during a trying time.

Assist the child and declare your unwavering support for him.

Since you can’t spend the entire day with the kindergartener, you should next decide on a strategy that will help you teach him how to defend himself.

Psychologists identify various techniques.

"Border Guard Method"

Your child should learn to set boundaries with others by saying, "This is mine, you can’t touch this!" It doesn’t appeal to me. "I refuse to do it!" The child shouldn’t take insults well; instead, he should learn to confront the "attacker" and tell him that his behavior is unpleasant and ugly. The "magic" children’s expression, "I’m not playing with you," should definitely be taught to the youngster.

Method of finding allies

When facing a challenging circumstance, the child should seek out allies and assistance. He needs to get better at discussing the issue and asking for assistance. Simultaneously, it’s critical to clarify that a regular person in need of assistance differs greatly from a snitch who goes to the teacher for any reason and without it.

Asking your elders for assistance should only be done after all other options have failed.

Method of getting out of conflict

Adults are well aware that there are times when it is safer and preferable to back down. This should also be taught to the child.

Avoiding the offender is preferable to letting him cross personal boundaries if he is extremely aggressive (bite, fights, hurts).

The method of "similar influence"

Teaching the child to defend themselves is a highly contentious approach. If he strikes, strike back; if he pinches, pinch back. It usually works perfectly on attackers, but it can be harmful to your child. Children can become the same aggressors as adults because they do not know the difference between appropriate self-defense and actual aggression. They have the power to seriously hurt and cripple the offender without having to measure their strength.

The preschooler who is trained in all of these techniques and is able to freely select one of them based on the circumstances is the best one for self-defense.

When a kindergarten-aged child is being bullied, it’s critical to respond promptly and carefully. Start by listening to your child and demonstrating to them the importance of their emotions. They will feel safer and more supported as a result.

The next step is to talk to the staff and teachers. Together, come up with a strategy that takes care of the problem and protects your child. Developing a solid alliance with the school can have a significant impact.

It’s also important to teach your kids how to deal with bullying. Give them skills like self-assurance, assertiveness, and knowing when to seek assistance. This can eventually make them feel more confident and equipped to deal with challenging circumstances.

Finally, keep a close eye on the circumstances. To make sure that your child is making progress, continue to be involved with both the school and them. To overcome bullying and succeed in kindergarten, your child needs a supportive home environment.

It’s critical to act quickly to stop bullying of a kindergarten-aged child by speaking with the child and their teachers, handling the matter in a composed manner, and making sure the child feels protected and supported. In addition to teaching the child the confidence and coping mechanisms to handle such circumstances, communication with the school and other parents can help resolve the problem.

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