What to do if a child steals money from parents: advice from a psychologist

A child who embezzles money from their parents without permission can cause great distress to the entire family. A lot of parents experience hurt, bewilderment, or even rage because they don’t know how to solve the issue without making it worse.

It’s critical to recognize that kids can steal for a variety of reasons, such as indifference, peer pressure, or even emotional distress. It’s critical to address the problem with empathy and candid communication rather than responding solely with punishment.

Parents can turn this trying time into a teaching and growth opportunity by comprehending the underlying causes and responding composedly. Psychologists can provide expert counsel on how to help kids get back on the right track and improve the bond between parents and children.

Took a thing without asking: reasons

Asocial behavior is frequently observed in careless, weak-willed kids who haven’t been taught morals or how to distinguish between their own and other people’s values. Recall that parents serve as the primary educators, followed by society. Should the progeny find themselves in an unsavory environment, there are numerous ways for him to assert his dominance. The child goes to the streets to find comfort if his problems and hobbies are not addressed at home and he is rejected.

Understanding the motives if the child steals both at school and at home

• Remorse is great, but the desire to possess someone else"s is much stronger.
• Dissatisfaction – psychological and/or material. (Perhaps his ideas about what is necessary differ from yours).
• Insufficient ideas about morality and willpower.

An illegal act can be committed by someone at any age. He can give in and make up a lot of excuses to justify his own weakness if he truly wants something. These kinds of thefts are rare and unpunished. The offender hides, even from family members, feels guilty, and either discards or conceals the trophy.

• If kind and frank kids suddenly steal something, they especially need help. With the help of a conversation, parents should exclude material gain and revenge. A common scenario: the child cannot explain why he did this. Relatives are upset that the culprit is lying. They wait and even demand repentance. But the more aggressive the methods, the thicker the wall, and the further you are from the truth. Often the problem of theft first appears at a very early age. Then the offender is punished without finding out the essence of why this happened. And at 13-14 years old, the situation worsens with renewed vigor.

Your baby is impacted by everything, including your own relationships, unfavorable changes (like a divorce), animosity, and coldness. Improve the atmosphere in the house by starting with yourself. It is not really your intention to change your children; instead, you should gather yourself, stop yelling, and show your love for them more.

• Revenge. Things disappear from classmates who are envious of them. Such "trophies" are hidden, no material benefit. With the help of illegal actions, the student increases his importance in his own eyes. Of course, he is not popular at school. If you recognized your child in this point – praise him. For everything, for any good deed, praise him immensely, he lacks this. Establish a trusting relationship. Do not establish a material assessment for achievements, no money for grades. Your child lacks emotional closeness and self-confidence, not money.
• Moral education. The culprit does not think how upset others are, he does not care about the possible consequences. This happens when a small person was not explained that he took without asking and the owner will be very upset. It is useful to read and then discuss thematic fairy tales and stories. This is especially effective at 6-7 years old.

Never let him get away with what he’s done; don’t criticize him or withhold your love from him. Give him a helping hand, teach him responsibility, and assist him in getting his life back on track by showing him that everything can be fixed.

What to do if the thief is caught?

Additionally, don’t hold it against him if he escapes detection; even if he is apprehended, keep your mouth shut. An inferiority complex can be sparked by accusations, particularly unfounded ones; occasionally, just one instance is sufficient to do this. His personality will suffer irreversible harm. Reassure the infant that he can handle any situation; this will help him maintain his self-assurance.

Following a transgression, one would anticipate more, and since stealing appears to be the norm, this encourages him to commit new crimes. Embitterment results from miscommunication and rejection from family members. Furthermore, appropriation is now a means of meeting material needs as well as a form of retaliation.

Features of 7 years

Keep in mind that kids between the ages of five and seven are not criminals; they simply take without thinking. The child believes she is entitled to everything within reach. Everything in this world is "mine" until family members indicate what is and isn’t acceptable. When they get what they want, children who are not taught what is right do not feel guilty; rather, they only feel relieved.

If you catch a 7-year-old child stealing, deal with the situation lovingly and extend your assistance to him. Think twice about your behavior and tell him you love him. Being patient will enable you to solve the issue more quickly.

This indicates to you that the student has a poor connection with his parents and feels abandoned and deprived. Every person has the basic need for love and acceptance. The absence of them will cause major issues with societal adaptation. The need to fit in is far less powerful than the desire to be well-liked. Both boys and girls start to depend on their peer relationships around the age of 6-7. For instance, a child can rob you of money and gain the favor of friends by purchasing them candy. In this situation, teach him how to make friends and consider how to pique his classmates’ interest.

It’s critical to deal with a child’s theft of money from their parents with compassion and understanding. Psychologists advise parents to calmly discuss their child’s behavior, look into any underlying causes, such as unfulfilled emotional needs, and set clear boundaries while promoting honesty, rather than reacting angrily or punishing their child. Rather than instilling fear or resentment, the intention is to assist the child in recovering from the experience and reestablishing trust.

Peculiarities of adolescence

The reason for theft at the ages of 8, 9, and 10 is a lack of developed willpower. Despite feeling guilty about what he did, he is powerless to resist. Children start taking responsibility for themselves at the age of eight, and they grow more self-reliant. There is a great desire to be a part of a peer group and to join the team. If one of their classmates has something that they do not, they feel as though they are being deprived. The urge to compete with friends or to be “like everyone else” then leads to thefts. In this scenario, the child has the ability to steal both at home and in stores.

Parental guidance:

• Develop independence in your child, let the baby set goals for himself and learn to achieve them.
• Give more freedom, let him do what he can do.
• Discuss the family budget. Come to a compromise, for example, give up something in order to save up for the thing the child needs.
• Offer him his own earnings. For example, delivering newspapers or advertisements, helping around the house for a couple of hours and getting extra money for it.

Teenager

Teenage years are the most common time for child theft. After all, they go through a lot of physical, social, and psychological changes during this stage of life. Peer pressure—possibly even coercion—is added to the list of reasons at this age.

When it comes to teenagers, things are generally far worse than when they are with kids. You cannot force him to stay away from a "bad" social circle, and trying to convince him to do otherwise may backfire because he won’t listen to you.

Establishing a social circle during early childhood is the best course of action. These could be the kids from your friends, your classmates, or kids who share similar interests. Having friends already allows you to casually get to know everyone. If you can, invite them over so you can meet their parents. If the situation has gotten out of control, theft incidents are occurring more frequently, and you notice additional communication problems with the child, you should consult a professional, such as a psychologist.

Prevention: what to do to prevent?

The subsequent actions will aid in prevention:

• Confidential conversation – share your experiences, discuss problems.
• Direct activity to interests – sports, drawing, photography. He will meet like-minded people in classes, will feel happy, busy and needed.
• Treat others as you would like to be treated – this is the golden rule for every person. It will teach empathy and think about the feelings of other people.
• At every age there should be responsibilities, according to their strength, of course. You can be responsible for watering flowers or going to the store. It"s up to you, but gradually he will take on more and more responsibility.

No to theft!

• Fear of punishment and sympathy for the victim keeps many people from illegal actions. The most important moral lesson for our children is family. It is the behavior of loved ones, the personal example of the mother and father, that teaches us to prioritize.
• Don"t give in to anger – this way you deprive your child of confidence, and in the future you will deprive him of normal relationships with people.
• Beatings, physical punishment, and even with threats to hand over to the police – will harden, embitter children, they will live in complete confidence that they are vicious.
• Share responsibility, show that his actions upset you, but at the same time make it clear that you will not abandon him in trouble. The best medicine is a heart-to-heart talk, a discussion of your feelings.
• Get to the bottom of the matter, find out the real reasons for what is happening. There may be a serious problem behind what happened.
• Don"t order, look for a way out together. Of course, the stolen must be returned. But the offspring can count on your support. Take the thing together, in extreme cases, slip it to the owner unnoticed.
• Temptation. Don"t keep money in visible places. Teach him how to properly manage his own funds.
• Praise for honesty. A child brought a lost toy – look for the owner. Tell us how glad the baby will be that she was returned. Make it clear that it was precisely such a reaction that you expected, there could be no other.

It can be difficult to deal with a situation where a child embezzles money from their parents, but it is crucial to do so patiently and understandingly. The secret is to help the child understand the consequences of their actions by emphasizing open communication rather than using severe punishments.

Providing a secure environment for kids to discuss their emotions and goals can result in significant fixes. Encourage them to accept responsibility and make apologies rather than humiliating them. Providing constant support and direction can aid in preventing recurrent behavior.

The development of trust within the family is ultimately crucial. Parents can assist their children in developing into responsible adults by providing an atmosphere where honesty is respected and errors are viewed as teaching opportunities.

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