What to do if your child is withdrawn, too shy or uncommunicative?

Since each kid is different, it’s normal for some of them to be more reserved than others. But parents may worry if their child appears extremely shy, withdrawn, or finds it difficult to communicate. Their social development may be hampered by this type of behavior, which can make it more difficult for them to connect with peers and express their feelings.

The first step is to figure out why your child is being quiet. Numerous things could be at play, such as personality quirks or experiencing anxiety in particular circumstances. Early identification of these indicators can help you support your child in developing self-assurance and increasing their comfort level in social situations.

There are useful strategies to help your child open up, even though it might take some time. You can gently nudge them toward greater comfort with people by fostering a supportive environment at home and assisting them in the development of social skills. We’ll look at some methods in this post to assist your child in overcoming shyness and discovering their voice.

What is it?

It is not a disease to withdraw. A child uses it as a defense mechanism to attempt to shield his inner world from threats that may come from the outside world. Rarely is withdrawal a hereditary trait; instead, it is typically learned. External factors such as parenting styles, family dynamics, and conflicts at school or kindergarten can cause a baby to withdraw.

Neonatologists and other medical professionals tend to think that the withdrawal was caused by an early pregnancy. It is known that premature babies are kept apart in special intensive care units and don’t see their mothers during the early days of their lives. They are cut off from one another.

Whatever the case, experts agree when they say that we must assist children who are secluded from the outside world.

• They are wary of strangers and unfamiliar people.
• They perceive any cardinal changes in their usual way of life painfully.
• They are restless, subject to frequent mood swings.

What distinguishes them from one another, then? Despite everything, a shy child tries to communicate and gets very concerned when it doesn’t work out. A child who withdraws does not communicate because he does not understand how, why, or why it is happening. He essentially doesn’t think communication is necessary. A withdrawn child needs to be encouraged to communicate, and a shy child needs to be taught how to structure communication. Even an army of psychologists will not be able to help him establish contact with the outside world until he wants to do so himself.

How can you tell if a child is withdrawing?

Symptoms

• The child speaks little or not at all. If he or she deigns to address someone verbally, he or she does so in a quiet voice or even in a whisper.
• The child adapts poorly to a new group (this could be a kindergarten, a section, a playground near the house where other people"s children play every day). In such places, your child tries to stay away and be a silent observer.
• The child practically does not express a personal opinion. Prefers to agree with the opinion of the majority or generally refrains from making judgments.
• The child has no friends or very few, and communication with them occurs extremely rarely.
• The child has a strange hobby. Or he or she persistently asks to get him or her not a kitten or a puppy, as other children do, but some exotic creature – a snake, a chameleon, an iguana, insects.
• The child has difficulties in learning, especially in those areas of knowledge where communication skills are required – oral objects, creative circles.
• The child is extremely tearful. He reacts to any incomprehensible situation with burning tears.

There are also physical signs of withdrawal. These kids can be identified by their frequent and shallow breathing and minimal gesticulation. Children who are withdrawing frequently conceal their hands in their pockets or behind their backs. Children who are withdrawing frequently experience stomachaches for which there are no valid medical explanations. Additionally, the called physician typically raises his hands and says, "Due to nerves!"

What then causes kids to withdraw?

Reasons

• Disease. Some diseases affect the psychological state of the child. Children who are often sick are also at risk. They can become withdrawn because they spend a lot of time at home, do not attend school or kindergarten.
• Temperament. If your child is phlegmatic, a certain amount of withdrawal is his innate trait. Here, nothing can be achieved by correction.
• Lack of communication and attention. If the child is the only one in the family or the parents devote too little time to the baby.
• Strictness of parents. Excessive demands suppress the baby"s initiative, he may begin to feel unnecessary, unaccepted, and as a result, the baby becomes withdrawn.
• Severe psychological trauma. The child may go into voluntary psychological isolation from the outside world after severe stress. For example, he lost a family member, parents got divorced, relatives are sick or often loudly quarrel right in front of the child.
• Constant dissatisfaction of parents with the actions and words of the baby. He either eats too slowly, or takes a long time to get dressed, or makes loud noise. Constant jerking makes the child nervous, unsure of his actions. As a result, he may become withdrawn.
• Private physical punishment, especially if it is disproportionate to the offense and is characterized by severity and cruelty.

A person who frequently interacts with the baby will always find it more challenging to ascertain the real cause of the child’s seclusion. It makes sense for parents to seek assistance from a psychologist because Big, as you may know, is perceived distantly. The expert will assess the toddler’s level of isolation, assist in establishing social interactions, and make recommendations for behavior modification.

What parents should do?

Take action. and right away.

• Expand the baby"s social circle. Take him to kindergarten, to the playground, to the park, to the zoo. Where there are always a lot of other children. Naturally, he will not immediately begin to communicate with them, let him stand aside for some time. Gradually, if everything happens without pressure, he will begin to take part in general games and talk with new friends.
• Provide tactile contact for the child. When talking to strangers or being in new, unfamiliar places for the child, always hold his hand. Withdrawn children desperately need a sense of security. Hug the baby more often at home. Learn to do a light relaxing massage, and do it to the child before bedtime.
• Teach your child to express feelings in words. If he sits by the window alone again, do not ignore it. Be sure to ask your little one leading questions: “You are sad?”, “You are sad because it is raining outside?”, “And when it ends, you will feel happier?”. Suggest that your child “replace” negative emotions. During periods of sadness due to rainy weather, suggest that he draw together or watch cartoons. Be sure to discuss with him what you will do.
• Create situations when communication is necessary. For example, ask him to take a pack of candies in the store and ask the cashier about its cost. He wants these sweets, but you pretend that you do not know how much you have to pay for them. I am sure that the baby will overcome himself and will be able to ask a question to a stranger. If not, then the child is not ready yet. Do not rush him. Create a similar situation in a week.
• Read fairy tales to your child in which there is a lot of dialogue between the characters.
• In corrective games, give preference to those that require communication.
• Ask your child"s opinion more often on certain family issues: What to cook for dinner? Where to go on the weekend?
• Invite guests to your home. It is better if these are your friends with children.

Watch the following video to learn how to respond to your withdrawing child.

Play therapy

Playing games can be a very simple and effective way to correct behavior without the need for specialized knowledge or abilities. Both in a family setting and in a children’s group, you can provide care for a child by using games. Games work particularly well for withdrawn preschoolers (5–6 years old). They promptly fix issues with communication.

"Creating a fairy tale"

Pairs of participants should be assigned. Every "two" has to mold plasticine into a fantasy animal that doesn’t exist. The game pauses in the middle, and the participants switch places in pairs. Their current assignment is to complete shaping the creation that the other players have imagined. The kids reveal who they came up with, what kind of character it is, what it can do, what it eats, and where it lives at the conclusion of the creative competition.

If your child is quiet, reserved, or uncommunicative, it’s critical to foster an environment that is patient, encouraging, and free from judgment so that they can express themselves. Begin by encouraging open communication in your household, easing them into social situations, and concentrating on boosting their self-esteem. Since each child develops at their own rate, don’t push them too hard, but be aware of any deeper problems that might call for expert help.

"What will I do?"

Allow your reclusive child to pretend to be in a strange place. Say a flying saucer touched down in your backyard. It produced adorable and amiable aliens. In their hands they hold a large cake… Create your role-based conversations with these aliens with the help of the child. Your child will learn from this to talk to strangers without fear.

“Me in many years”

Psychologists use this game to identify and eliminate the causes of isolation. It will also be helpful in preventing psychological disorders in sociable children.

After many years, ask your child to draw something on his own. Take a close look at the illustration; it conveys a lot about the withdrawn child.

• If he depicts his figure as very small and is not the youngest in the family, this indicates a lack of attention and low self-esteem.
• If the figure is large and takes up almost the entire sheet, the child is probably spoiled.
• If he drew himself and his family, but himself a little away from others – the baby feels lonely.
• If the figures are small, and the child presses hard on the pencil, this may be a sign of an increased level of anxiety. The baby does not feel safe, he is afraid to be open.

It may take some time and patience to help a shy or reclusive child, but it’s crucial to reassure them of your support. Encourage them to take baby steps toward gaining social confidence without pressuring them into awkward circumstances. Allow them to dictate the speed.

It can make a huge difference to provide them with a secure, supportive environment where they feel understood. Pay attention to their worries and respect their emotions. This may eventually make them feel more at ease and inclined to communicate.

Recall that each child is distinct. No matter how tiny, acknowledge their progress and keep reassuring them. They can progressively acquire the social skills they need to succeed with your help.

Video on the topic

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What to do if your child is withdrawn, too shy or uncommunicative?