Why does a child have nightmares and what to do?

Parents and kids can find nightmares disturbing. After a nightmare, it’s not unusual for a child to wake up terrified, distraught, or perplexed. Although it may sound concerning, nightmares are a common occurrence for many kids at various developmental stages and are a normal part of growing up.

Parents who understand the causes of their child’s nightmares can provide better support for their child. Unusual dreams in children are frequently associated with stress, anxiety, or schedule disruptions. Nightmares can be brought on by events such as starting school, moving to a new house, or even just seeing something spooky on TV.

Knowing what to do as a parent when your child wakes up scared is crucial. You can help them feel safe again by providing comfort and assurance. A peaceful nighttime routine can also help you sleep better at night and lessen the chance of nightmares.

Reason for Nightmares What to Do
Stress or anxiety Talk to your child and help them express their worries
Changes in routine Keep a consistent bedtime schedule
Scary movies or stories Avoid exposing the child to frightening content
Overtiredness Ensure the child gets enough rest and has a relaxing bedtime routine
Feeling unsafe Create a comforting and safe sleep environment

Where do nightmares come from?

Psychologists and child psychiatrists have long established a close relationship between daytime stress and the quality of nighttime dreams. If a child experiences psycho-emotional discomfort and inconvenience during the day, then the likelihood that in a dream his fears and experiences will take on a nightmarish form increases. The child goes to bed, his body is physiologically tired, he needs rest, and the brain continues to actively digest all the abundance of information flow. Parents have encountered nightmares in children at all times, but in recent decades the number of calls from mothers and fathers about terrible dreams in a child has increased tenfold. Experts tend to blame technical progress for this: children from a very early age spend a lot of time in front of the TV, in front of computers, with gadgets. In addition, the overall level of stress has increased significantly. A nightmare, from the point of view of somnology, always appears in a certain phase of sleep – REM (usually this happens either in the morning or in the second half of the night). A nightmare is always very intense, colorful and vivid, it contains strong emotional experiences.

What do kids typically see in their nightmares? Monsters, anguish, suffering, death, and chases are all present. Usually, the fear is so intense that the child wakes up quickly, exits the REM phase abruptly, and finds it difficult to calm down for a considerable amount of time because, at that point, the images are still in front of his eyes and appear to be real, existing in this world.

As any parent who has a child who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night and is hysterical for a while knows, falling asleep easily after this seems like an almost impossible task.

Norm and pathology

If nightmares occur infrequently, this is normal for the first five to seven years of life because the psyche changes with aging. However, a child requires assistance if they experience strong, frequent nightmares that happen multiple times a week. Children between the ages of three and five are more prone to nightmares. These kids frequently have vivid dreams, which exacerbates anxiety and may lead to nervous disorders, hysterics during the day, fear of going to bed alone or in the dark, and other issues.

Stress, anxiety, or schedule disruptions can frequently cause children to have nightmares, but these unsettling dreams are typically a normal aspect of growing up. In order to assist, parents can establish a soothing nighttime routine, make sure the child feels safe, and comfort them when they talk through their fears.

Age features

It’s thought that babies don’t experience nightmares. They lack the psycho-emotional experience necessary to perceive terrifying images. After a year, fears begin to creep into our lives, peaking three years later. This is just another and unquestionably necessary stage of personality development, the building of the psyche and nervous system, and there is nothing wrong with it. It follows that it is not surprising that children experience nightmares most frequently around the age of three, with boys being more prone to them than girls.

When the child reaches the age of six or seven, when they begin to comprehend death and mortality, the next wave of nightmares threatens them. Understanding that a butterfly dies forever if you step on it and that sometimes people leave forever leaves a child feeling hopeless and stuck in a dead end. A violent or cruel scene in a game or movie can have a profound effect on a child as early as preschool. As a result, you ought to give the child’s content a very close inspection. The same horrible childhood dreams played a big part in the brain and psyche’s natural adaptation, which is why nightmares typically go away by the time a person is 11 or 12 years old.

The causes of nightmares in teenagers are essentially the same as those in adults: neurosis, anxiety disorders, long-term stress, and traumatic experiences. However, they are typically no longer of physiological or natural origin.

What to do?

First of all, parents should establish whether the child is really tormented by nightmares or whether he wakes up for other reasons. This is especially difficult with babies who still cannot really explain to mom and dad the reasons for their sudden awakening and sharp crying. To do this, you need to understand whether the air in the bedroom is fresh, whether the child is dry, whether his mattress is comfortable, whether he is sick. It is difficult to foresee all possible prerequisites for nightmares, because a child can be afraid of something that adults will not even pay attention to: shadows in the corner of the room, a stranger met on a walk, a barking dog, etc. d. It is clear that such impressions cannot be prevented. But what mom and dad can actually do is stop cultivating fears in the child on their own. Often we scare the baby ourselves, claiming that if he does not eat or obey, a "bogeyman" will certainly come for him, who will drag him into the forest, bite him on the side, etc. d. Such parental behavior forms in the child not a short-term transient fear, but a chronic, long-term one, against the background of which not only the appearance of nightmares is possible, but also the development of phobic disorders. Nightmares, if they are dreamed constantly, are often accompanied by other sleep disorders, decreased appetite and mood, enuresis.

Children frequently complain of headaches, compulsive movements, and psychosomatic pain during the day.

  • psychological difficulties: problems in communicating with peers, unhealthy psychological environment in the family;
  • parenting mistakes: lack of attention or overprotection, too strict upbringing, increased demands and expectations of parents;
  • traumatic events: an accident, the death of a loved one, an operation performed on a child, an injury, divorce of parents;
  • fears and phobias: individual irrational fear of darkness, heights, water, closed doors, etc. .

Children frequently require extra emotional support and assistance during life-changing events like kindergarten, starting school, or moving to a new home with their family.

It’s important to keep in mind that organic factors can also contribute to nightmares. These include issues with the heart and blood vessels, apnea, excessive runny nose that obstructs breathing, fever, and the early stages of viral diseases. They take physical discomfort to a new level during sleep, the level of a bad dream.

Another thing that can disrupt your sleep is overeating in the evening. The child’s brain, which regulates all bodily functions, won’t function at its best if they have consumed a lot of fatty or carbohydrate food because their body will be actively breaking down products during sleep.

Examine the daily schedule. When kids are tired enough during the day, they sleep well and sometimes don’t dream at all. However, it’s crucial to lessen feelings of excitement and reduce emotions a few hours before bedtime. The child ought to go to bed concurrently.

Childhood nightmares are a normal part of life and usually cause no concern. They frequently result from a child’s growing imagination, ordinary experiences, or even adjustments to their daily schedule.

Reducing the frequency of nightmares in your child can be achieved in large part by making them feel safe and secure. It’s easy but effective to establish a soothing bedtime routine and to comfort someone who has had a nightmare.

To rule out any underlying issues, it may be worthwhile to speak with a healthcare provider if your child experiences nightmares more frequently or if they start to interfere with their everyday activities.

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Svetlana Kozlova

Family consultant and family relationship specialist. I help parents build trusting relationships with their children and each other. I believe that a healthy atmosphere in the home is the key to happiness and harmony, which I share in articles and recommendations.

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