Why a child is afraid of the dark and what to do? Advice from psychologists

A fear of the dark is something that many kids have at some point. This widespread worry can cause distress for children as well as their parents. Effectively addressing this fear may be aided by knowing why it arises.

Psychologists contend that children’s imaginations and their incapacity to discern between fact and fiction in the dark are frequently the source of this fear. Their perception of the world changes as they mature, but the fear might not go away.

Thankfully, there are methods for reducing a child’s fear of the dark. Parents can play a critical role in assisting their children in feeling safe and secure at night, from setting up a reassuring bedtime routine to using nightlights and having an honest conversation about their fears.

Statistics

  1. Out of 100 mothers, 80 note that of all types of fear, their children are characterized by a fear of the dark. Thus, 8 out of 10 children aged 3 to 10 years are afraid of dark rooms.
  2. In 80% of cases, the fear of the dark is inherited. If the parents had it, then with a high degree of probability, the child will also be afraid of the dark.
  3. In 10% of people on the planet, the fear of the dark remains throughout life.
  4. In 2%, it develops into a disease – nyctophobia.

Reasons

Fear of the dark is not the same as a fear of lightlessness per se. It is a fear of what might be concealed in this darkness—something unpleasant and unknown. A certain amount of uncertainty develops because our brain cannot clearly perceive the safety of the surroundings in the dark due to a lack of clear signals from the visual organs. Rich imaginations will also "draw" the missing pieces very quickly. Here it is: a terrifying image is prepared! As you may know, children are more likely to fantasize, which explains why childhood fears are so prevalent.

Scientists have discovered that a child’s fear starts even during intrauterine development. At that point, the infant could already tell whether its mother was scared, anxious, or both.

Naturally, an unborn child cannot yet comprehend the details of what is happening, but its brain and nervous system are fully capable of "remembering" the body’s natural response to fear. Consequently, the embryo acquires the capacity to experience fear. True, innately for the time being.

When fear becomes conscious?

  1. More often than others, fear of the dark is experienced by children who sleep alone. Therefore, indirectly, fear of the dark is a fear of loneliness. Even newborns can experience it.
  2. If parents are into “horror stories”. “If you don’t eat your porridge, I’ll call the bogeyman” or “If you don’t stop playing around, an evil sorcerer will come for you!”. In the dark, when a child relaxes before going to bed and mentally, like adults, plays out daytime experiences in his head, it is this “bogeyman” or “evil sorcerer” that can materialize in the baby’s imagination in a dark room.
  3. If in the presence of a child the elders watch horror films, terrible stories tell. Remember, the brain of a child, even a small and unintelligent one, records vivid images and then reproduces them at the most inopportune moment.
  4. If a child often watches news with adults. Any accidentally seen image in a story about a disaster, murder or attack can cause a fear of the dark.
  5. If a child is forbidden too much.
  6. If serious conflicts flare up in the family, in which children find themselves drawn.

A fear of the dark can also develop due to a number of other factors. Surprisingly, only children in the family are more vulnerable to this kind of fear. A child experiences higher levels of anxiety when they have no siblings to confide in.

Additionally, children of "older" parents frequently exhibit a fear of the dark. The more mature the mother is when the child is born, the more concerned she and the family are about the "late" arrival. At the first call, they will run, gasp, and raise their hands. Consequently, they raise a neurasthenic, hyperactive, infantile child who is prone to fears, not just of the dark.

Children raised by single parents frequently have a fear of the dark. Furthermore, the initial "bells" of fear typically sound during the divorce or when one of the parents leaves.

What should parents do?

1. Talk to the child

In all seriousness, would you please ask him to clarify his fears regarding what, why, who, and how he feels about his dark room, the baby, and his visitation in general. Stated differently, you can determine the cause of the "start" of the innate fear program in this way.

2. Control what he saw

You must make sure the child isn’t exposed to violent or frightening movies or the same video games on the computer. Any fear is like a fire; if you keep adding wood to it, it will continue to flare.

Be mindful of what you say, avoid bringing up unpleasant subjects when the child is around, and avoid frightening the mischievous infant by imagining that evil characters "will come and take you to the forest."

3. Explore the room and give a talisman

Try taking your kid on a dark room exploration. Turn on a night light, walk through it with your child or the entire family, and assure them that nobody is hiding anywhere.

I will state up front that this advice is not always effective. The truth is that the baby appears to settle down when its parents are around. However, he will not be left alone once night falls and the lights go out. Because he really thinks that the monsters that his parents drove away will come back? I favor "long-term" prevention because of this.

Parents leave an object or someone in the child’s room that has the power to ward off monsters. Whether it’s a newly acquired night light or a specially bought toy. The most important thing is for the child to think that nothing can harm him now that he has this.

4. Visualization of fear and turning it into a good creature

Extra technique. Let the child draw a monster; this will help him visualize it and realize that it’s not as scary as it seems because the child’s imagination tends to create more "colorful" images. At the very end, make sure to transform the monster into a friendly one by giving him a big smile and kind eyes. Play and converse with him and your kid.

That parents cannot do?

  1. Criticize and laugh at the child. If your baby admitted that he is afraid to be alone in his room, to go to bed in the evening because it is scary in the dark, do not criticize him and do not call a coward. This is for you the horror stories hidden at the cabinet are unrealistic. For the child, they are the most real. And he is not capricious when he reports his fear, as some parents think, but expresses you. He shares with you his main trouble.
  2. Hit "wedge". This is the same method of my grandmother. If the child is afraid of darkness, do not close him intentionally in a dark room so that he realizes that there is no reason for fear. This can cause panic and consolidate the horror, turning it into a real phobia.
  3. In no case should you join this game. If a child says that a dragon lives under his bed, you don’t need to look there and exclaim: “Oh, it’s really scary! If you don’t listen, it will definitely crawl out and bite your leg!”. The child will believe. And the fear will increase many times over.

Consequences

A common childhood fear can develop into a true pathology if parents do not address their child’s fear of the dark in a timely manner and choose to ignore it. The resulting nyctophobia will include a complex web of different fears. This may result in panic attacks throughout life and neurological and mental disorders in the child.

Furthermore, childhood fears that are buried deep in a person’s subconscious will grow to be overwhelmed by a plethora of unpleasant and dangerous complexes that interfere with living a normal life. The child may not develop health issues, but poor self-worth, a fear of change, and a lack of responsibility are certain.

Age stages of fear

2 years

By the time they are two years old, their imaginations have sufficiently matured to generate complete images, including negative ones, and this is when children typically begin to fear the dark. However, young children are not yet able to explain to their parents exactly what is upsetting them. As a result, they may have night terrors, scream incessantly, refuse to sleep in their own crib, and pester their parents to go to bed.

3 years

The boundaries of the child’s immediate environment begin to expand at age three, coinciding with the onset of the crisis associated with the first transitional age. He is now aware that there is more to the apartment complex than just a park, playground, and kindergarten. Fears increase along with knowledge and experience. The child can draw them at your request and talk about them. Use this to your advantage to get rid of the source of your fear.

4-7 years

Nearly all children are highly impressionable at age four. They form value judgments and have good recollections of conversations, events, and faces. All of this combined with an overactive imagination can result in a fear of the dark.

Five-year-olds actively interact with their peers, and a terrifying tale from a kindergartener or something they’ve seen on TV may be the cause of their nighttime anxieties. The infant’s mind will instantly "draw" a terrifying picture since he is unable to discriminate between reality and fiction at this time. It’s crucial to talk to five-year-olds about their fears, use logic yourself, and impart logical thinking skills to them.

At six years old, the child can "see" the characters from his favorite cartoons and books in the darkness of his room. As luck would have it, fantastic heroes—who aren’t always good and kind—appear closer to night. And how on earth do you sleep here!?

At this age, associative thinking also begins to develop. As a result, a simple chest of drawers can transform into a terrifying monster, and a hanging coat—like the one I had—into a mysterious being. It’s critical to demonstrate to the youngster that nobody is in the space.

When a child reaches the age of seven, their fear of the dark may result from the stress associated with starting school. In the event that convincing doesn’t work, rearrange the first-grader’sroom. Let every scary thing move to a different location.

8-10 years

The fear of the dark usually goes away by the age of eight. However, don’t brush off the child’s fears, believing that "it will soon pass by itself," if they persist.

Fear of the dark is not a common occurrence in children as young as 9 or 10 years old. Additionally, it is typically linked to the fact that a child’s rapidly developing psyche is changing. This is a typical process that each person will encounter in a unique manner. There’s no need to worry if your fear of the dark isn’t a panic attack. A psychologist can help parents deal with difficult situations more easily.

Because their imaginations can run wild and cause them to feel uneasy and anxious, children frequently fear the dark. In order to support them, you must recognize their emotions, offer solace, and establish a relaxing bedtime ritual that involves a nightlight or relaxing music. Psychologists advise gradually increasing their level of comfort in the dark by being understanding and reassuring, as this will help them feel safe even in the absence of light.

When to contact specialists?

  • If the child is already 10 years old, and he is very afraid of a dark room and is afraid to sleep without light. Younger schoolchildren are very good at distinguishing between truth and fairy tales. Therefore, stories about fantastic creatures living in the darkness of their room should be a reason to contact a psychologist or psychotherapist.
  • If a child’s fear of the dark is associated with loud night tantrums, screams, and even fear of death.
  • If the fear of the dark is expressed in panic attacks. The child breathes unevenly, loses consciousness.

See what to do if a child has a fear of the dark by watching the video.

Reason for Fear What to Do?
Imagination running wild Encourage your child to talk about their fears and reassure them that it"s okay to feel scared. Offer comfort and understanding.
Separation anxiety Provide a nightlight or leave the door slightly open. Stay close until they feel safe and gradually help them build confidence.
Exposure to scary content Avoid letting your child watch or listen to frightening stories or shows before bed. Create a calm bedtime routine.
Fear of the unknown Teach your child about the dark in a fun way, like playing shadow games or exploring with a flashlight.

Parents can address their children’s fears with empathy and practical solutions if they understand why the child fears the dark. Young children frequently experience nighttime anxiety, which is manageable with time and assistance. Acknowledging that these anxieties are typical aspects of growth can assist parents in handling the situation with non-annoyance.

Parents can assist their child in overcoming their fear of the dark by establishing a reassuring bedtime routine, upholding a regular sleep environment, and progressively introducing comforting techniques. For a child to feel secure and confident, open communication and positive reinforcement are essential.

Recall that conquering a fear of the dark is a gradual process. Children can learn to feel safe and comfortable at night with the appropriate approach and supportive attitude. Always be understanding and supportive as your child works through their anxieties, and if more help is required, get professional advice.

Video on the topic

Why a child is afraid of the dark? Why a child has developed a fear of the dark and how to help him?

How to help a child overcome fear?

CHILD IS AFRAID OF THE DARK | What to do if a child is afraid of the dark

A child is afraid of the dark. FEAR OF THE DARK. How to overcome the fear of the dark, advice from a psychologist.

A child is afraid of the dark: 10 tips from a psychologist

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Svetlana Kozlova

Family consultant and family relationship specialist. I help parents build trusting relationships with their children and each other. I believe that a healthy atmosphere in the home is the key to happiness and harmony, which I share in articles and recommendations.

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