9 types of personal human boundaries: do not enter without permission!

Boundaries define not only the nation but also the individual. Not everyone can recall them, and many are completely unaware of them. Being able to take care of and observe one’s boundaries is therefore a crucial responsibility for every individual. And you must first be aware of our boundaries in order to accomplish this.

What limits are there for each of us? How are we to comprehend that they have been transgressed? And how can we keep them safe? We’ll discuss this with psychologist Maya Medvedeva today.

1. Physical boundaries

These define the limits of the human body, its contents, and its area.

You can talk about it and let people know in advance if you don’t want them to touch or hug you. Personal belongings and the space of a desk or room should be untouchable; parents cannot enter without their children’s consent.

People most often become accustomed to having their physical boundaries violated when they are young; parents and medical professionals may do this as well.

The child is ill and requires medical attention, or they may only require a check-up. It is crucial to clarify to the child exactly what will be done to him, why it is required, and what the repercussions will be. The child must give his own consent for any procedure; otherwise, he will experience helplessness in defending himself and may come to the wrong conclusions for years to come.

Boundaries are also broken by entering a child’s room or relocating their belongings without permission.

When physical boundaries are consistently crossed, a person may develop learned helplessness, in which case they will never even attempt to defend themselves.

2. Emotional boundaries

Emotions are reactions to other people’s words and deeds, and it is crucial that we are able to control our own emotions. Because someone else will do it for us if we don’t know how. Next, there’s a chance of developing a dependency on someone and falling prey to manipulation. Being able to stand somewhat apart from your emotions, to acknowledge them but avoid becoming entangled in them, is crucial. particularly if we perceive that someone is acting aggressively toward us or hear hurtful remarks said to us.

An emotional boundary is breached, for instance, when a parent overly protects their child and denies them the freedom to explore the outside world. Or when he demands ever-higher super-achievements in a variety of domains because he sees a child as an extension of himself.

When someone appears to become one with him in a relationship, they are most vulnerable to having their emotional boundaries crossed, which makes it harder for them to control their entire life.

3. Psychological boundaries

The limits of our mental health that each of us must guard. When we feel that "something is wrong," we have the right to seek out psychological support and assistance from professionals or from loved ones. We simply owe it to ourselves to take this action. Seeking help is normal and does not indicate shame. Putting oneself in a situation where psychological violence is occurring is NOT normal. An individual must cease acting aggressively toward his mental well-being.

These days, it’s common to hear or read about "toxic people" or "toxic relationships." They all essentially describe instances of psychological violence—a form of aggression that is not immediately apparent, unlike physical violence—between individuals. Years of relationship ruin can be mistaken for love by an individual. Compared to his partner, he is more likely to question his own mental health.

The poisonous influence of another person via manipulation, criticism, and a sudden shift in attitude—today I love, tomorrow I don’t—is known as psychological abuse. The intention behind this is to break someone’s will to control themselves, their sense of self-worth, and their ability to see things critically. In addition, the victim pays a direct price for these relationships in terms of their health since they are under continual stress as a result of unstable relationships.

You urgently need psychological assistance if you are questioning whether you are crazy or if you are constantly second-guessing what you are going to say or do.

4. Personal boundaries

This is how we view ourselves, along with our values, beliefs, desires, and decisions. Being able to defend them from outside threats is crucial. If someone has a different opinion of us or disagrees with our beliefs, we are not obligated to alter how we see ourselves. With time and gained experience, we will be able to accomplish this. Ourselves.

If someone is criticizing our ideas, words, or looks, we need to cut off the flow of their comments.

Requests for criticism should be made of the person’s behavior rather than his character. If not, this is a severe attempt to cross lines.

"Thank you for your opinion, but I have a different one" is a phrase that allows us to maintain our personal space while also separating ourselves from other people’s opinions and leaving them to them. Individuals who have crossed their boundaries are frequently highly receptive to the words of others; they can accept and incorporate them into who they are right away.

5. Boundaries of personal life

We are not required to disclose personal information to others. We have the option to select listeners we can trust. However, it’s crucial to keep in mind that talking about one’s personal life is a very private process. What do you hope to gain in return? It might be better to get in touch with a psychologist if you need assistance; at the very least, he is required to keep information private, doesn’t assign grades, and won’t pass judgment.

Individuals are more inclined to divulge personal information to friends during their adolescence and early adult years. This implies that either they are unable to handle relationships or they do not yet know what this life should be like. The issue is that disclosing personal information to the public may have a negative impact on your partner’s quality of life afterward. Since there are two of you, this is disrespectful toward him/her and their boundaries as well.

It’s crucial to learn to clarify and regulate things internally rather than externally if you want to build a respectful and long-lasting relationship with someone.

By talking about your problems, you don’t solve them; instead, you just help shape people’s perceptions of you and your family and give them permission to cross boundaries with you.

6. Sexual boundaries

They are regarded as a component of the physical ones. However, they can be set independently based on the details of the interaction.

Sexual contact should only occur when both parties are in a sexually desired state. This boundary is strictly defined. You are free to end the process if it makes you uncomfortable or if you decide all of a sudden that you don’t want to. It’s your right to do so.

People can have sex without desire or consent. Just because they feel obligated. Or they are looking for intimacy and warmth, but don"t know how to get it without sex. A girl or a guy may feel that their partner is waiting, and it is impossible to refuse. This situation indicates that a person puts the interests of others above their own, so they allow their sexual boundaries to be violated. And it doesn"t even occur to them to disagree with how and when sex is possible and enjoyable. People may also be afraid of intimacy and not know what to do with it, or what to do with the silence that has suddenly arisen. But in sex, everything is clear, there is a set of certain actions that can become a guarantee of maintaining a relationship.
It is very easy to "have sex". But do you really agree to it?

7. Time boundaries

An individual’s ability to manage their time is crucial. This can be achieved, for instance, by working from 9:00 to 18:00 with a lunch break from 13:30 to 18:00, or at any other explicitly stated time. However, there is also another time: the time for meetings, the parameters of which must also be decided upon beforehand. They ought to agree on when they will begin and end. It’s crucial to let the other person know in advance if you need to reschedule a meeting so they can modify their plans as well.

Even if being late by five to ten minutes is accepted as the usual, sometimes people fail to recognize when they are crossing someone else’s boundaries. Respecting other people’s and your own time limits is crucial.

Family gatherings "from six to infinity" are also sometimes very exhausting, especially since relatives are not always the warmest company (often it is in family relationships between people that there is a lot of hidden aggression, because within the family we are limited, and cannot get away from each other). Or, when you set a gathering at a certain time, and the guests are half an hour late – this will be a violation of your time boundaries. The consequences can be your irritation and spoiled mood, despite the fact that the other person has calmly finished his business and is ready to congratulate you "with all his heart". Sometimes such tardiness hides unmanifested aggression on the part of the person, it is also important to know about this.

8. Boundaries of freedom of action

As long as it doesn’t conflict with the law or his personal morals, a person is free to decide for themselves what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and what precisely motivates and gives them strength.

Nobody ought to inform him or offer criticism. If someone tries to force their opinions on us about what to choose, we have the right to stop them.

This boundary, like all the others, is established during childhood. It’s crucial to inquire of kids, "What would you like to do?" It’s critical to respect their wishes, permit what is safe, and place restrictions on what might be harmful. They will be able to establish an internal boundary as a result—the freedom to decide what to do.

9. Financial boundaries

Everyone is entitled to manage their own finances. They are exempt from reporting how much, when, or what they spent the money on. (We are discussing a healthy norm here, not an instance of compulsive shopping, gambling addiction, or other transgressions.)

That is, your mother, your partner, or anybody else cannot dictate how much money you spend or how much you earn. "Where, when, and how much did you earn, and what did you spend it on?" is a question that goes against what an adult, healthy person would say. This also applies to demands for specific amounts of loans, for sharing "because you have a lot," and other financial intrusions; like a bank, an individual is free to decline without giving a reason. Simultaneously, to avoid feeling regret and shame, which some might attempt to induce.

All boundaries are established during childhood, with parental assistance. Maintaining your integrity as a person and your mental health depend on your ability to set and enforce boundaries. Seeking assistance from a psychologist could be necessary if you are struggling to define your boundaries. And don’t hesitate to get assistance if your circumstances are dire.

Written by Maya Medvedeva 19.02.21

Setting and maintaining personal boundaries is crucial to safeguarding our mental, emotional, and physical health. Everyone should respect nine main types of boundaries, such as time, physical, and emotional boundaries. By clearly defining boundaries for our interactions with others, each type helps us maintain healthy relationships by defining what we are comfortable with. To create a respectful and safe space for ourselves and others, it is essential to recognize and honor these boundaries. Never enter without authorization!

Relationships with family, friends, and children as well as with parents Additional pieces written by the writer

Video on the topic

Personal boundaries / Types of personal boundaries / How to protect

Regain your right to personal boundaries #psychology #relationshippsychology

that same person who does not know personal boundaries. part 9

How to define your personal boundaries #relationshippsychology #motivation

that same person who does not know personal boundaries. part 11

A person who does not know personal boundaries. Collection. Season 1. Alezha Obukhov

9 signs that you have weak PERSONAL BOUNDARIES | Test